CHP ~ Day 49

Today, Matt called me to hang out :) my brother loves me. We ended up going to lunch with Drew and Jilly, I don't get to see Drew that often...so it was nice to have some time with them and visit.
Matt and I ran into an old family friend when we were leaving...Rick Solomon is a friend of my parents, and his family was one of the one that did all the couples Bible study camping trips with our family and others for YEARS...I don't think I've seen him in over 6-7 years myself. He didn't recognize Matt or I. We realized though, how tough the economy is and how hard finances are when someone you haven't seen in that long offers all the information he did. And it really makde Matt put the amount of work my dad has been able to get lately into perspective (Rick is an electrical contractor also), and it made me very gratefully that Drew got into the CHP Academy and we have that as a steady job instead of construction right now (no matter how much Drew may miss electrical). And it helped calm me, because I realized that everyne's struggling and most people are a little behind right now...I didn't feel so alone in that any more :)

I came back home and started the project that I attempted to start last night, before Drew called me and said he had liberty. I've been "filing" and attempting to organize all the CHP paperwork, and also organize any receipts and whatnot that are going to be tax write offs...I had a HORENDOUS time of figuring out my taxes last year because I hadn't separated those receipts. And, we are going to have a decent amount this year! All the money we have poured into the CHP thus far can be written off...which is really going to help.

Anywho, Drew sounded really good when he called this evening. He was fitted for his official Officer uniform tonight, EXCITING! And really strange that we are that far into the Academy! The senior cadets only have about 2 or 3 weeks left!!! then the newbees come in...time is going by reasonably fast, as a whole :) He also cleaned his gun today (and was very excited about it!) He is really enjoying range because it is so hands on...and that is definitely how his brain works! He also had that Spanish quiz today (not a major test yet) that he was concerned about, he says he has a good accent but has trouble understanding other people (since the language is spoken so fast) and he has a mental block at the moment trying to remember the words. But, he said he only missed 2 or 3 questions...so that's a blessing!!!

It sounds like tomorrow Drew only has two classes aside from PT in the morning...just four hours of his range class and then his accident investigation class. BUT! He'll be home tomorrow night!

CHP ~ Day 48

Today I worked on cleaning the house since we are having company this weekend...DEd and Sherri are coming up to spend time with Drew for his brithday. And began to organize my filing system. I've accumulated a few piles of junk that I've needed to go through, PLUS the amount of paperwork we have received from the Academy and benefits...AND everything we have receipts for that has been purchased for the CHP...I've been needing to organize for taxes and whatnot...So, that's always a huge undertaking!

Drew had an ok day today. A little good and a little bad. PT this morning was rough, and a few individuals from the other company think he's the reason for it if they have a rough workout in the mornings. So, that's a little discouraging... BUT!!! He passed SKID PAN, first attempt! PRAISE THE LORD!!! He also received a test score from the beginning of the week, passed...woo hoo...(that doesn't mean it was barely passing, that just means he didn't remember what the score was when he told me) :)

He received his bonus check today, just barely enough to cover a bill I need to pay, PRAISE GOD for that as well! I think we should have enough to cover our gas for the next week until his paycheck comes. So, I went down to pick up his check and ...sort of... helped him study for his Spanish (I'm so bad, I don't know how I could have been helping him). But, I went down a little late, so he was able to get all of his other work, boot shining, and uniform prep done for tomorrow before I got down there.

THANK YOU LORD, for continuing to work and provide for us, even when we become impatient or begin to doubt.

CHP ~ Day 47

Well, today was interesting...I slept at my parents house last night. I was awakened by a creditor...OYE! Discussed alot of that CRAP with my mom...and in the afternoon we cleared out my brothers room.

Very weird. I'm pretty sure I haven't seen it that empty since we moved there (before he was born)...and I don't even remember what that looked like! We loaded his truck and my dad's truck up and drove his stuff into Roseville. His apartment is pretty nice...I'm really excited for him. But it was hard to see how hard it was for my mom to see the room empty, for my dad to wrap his mind around him leaving, and for my sister to see him move out and not herself. I hope this experience is really good for him, and he's able to grow into a responsible adult and more independant now that he's taken the plunge to be out on his own!!! Scary! :)

I came home this evening and cleaned the kitchen a little. Drew called me kinda late, I think he had a late class tonight. But he told me about his FOUR HOURS doing range today. He really enjoyed it, pretty grueling though. And it was apparently as warm there as it was here!!! GROSS!!! He did freak out at one point though, some guy fired before his arm was fully extended and scared everyone...(no worries, he didn't get anyone :) )...EXCITING STUFF!!!

But, Drew's excited, his name was on the list today to be in the "skid pan" class for EVOC tomorrow. It is the portion of the Emergency Vehicle Operations class that you have to slide the car over water and oil slicks. I've been concerned about this portion since the Academy started, and can't believe it's here already! The senior cadets lost the bulk of the "fired" from their class to that specific portion. You do have four attempts, and they all say that if you just lstn and do EXACTLY what the instructors say, you'll do just fine. But, they had trouble...so I've been concerned since we heard about it! I'm praying that the Lord would allow Drew to listen and act on whatever the EVOC instructors tell him, and that he would pass the first attempt. We shall see tomorrow.

Drew has liberty tomorrow night, however, unless he gets his bonus check tomorrow afternoon I'll most likely stay home and save the gas, and he'll study for the Spanish quiz he has on Thursday (which he is a little nervous about).

CHP ~ Day 46

Today I went to drop my mom's car off at the dealership with her, we sat at Starbucks and waited while they were fixing her automatic locks...and we chit-chatted a while. After we picked the car up we headed back into Roseville to run some errands, and Matt called me...he got the apartment he applied for! WooHoo! So, he moves in tomorrow...SO! Mom and I went shopping for some necessity items and whatnot for him. And then we met him and Daddy for lunch. Apparently this is a huge relief to Matt, he had made himself sick worrying about whether their application would go through on this one. (They tried a low income complex and were denied).

So, I am spending the night in Auburn tonight, I've been helping Matt pack up his stuff...which is very strange. My dad has been kinda mopey...he's sad. But, I'm excited he's finally getting out and is going to be commited to a lease (unlike some of the other plans to move out would have led to), so he can't just change his mind in a week. It'll be a real growing up experience for him.

Drew had a good day today. Nothing much in particular...just lots of classes. He said that he only had one PT this morning (PRAISE THE LORD), because the seniors were not up to par apparently and they stayed later. So, he actually had time to shower and breathe before breakfast. He sounded really good today. And, evidently, his roommate didn't get back from the hospital until about 1:00am this morning and was sent back out today, and was gone most of the day (for that weird thing on his hip)...it sounds like they are trying to get shots into it, but it's not responding...at first Drew said staff infection, but his roommate corrected him (and I didn't recognize the other word he said :) ). So, that's exciting...??? HA!

Drew's excited for tomorrow...no PT, but PMA in the morning and afternoon, and he has FOUR hours of range tomorrow!!! So, that should be fun :) He found out that he has Wednesday night off (PRAISE THE LORD), but we think he's going to stay at the Academy to save gas and so he can study for his Spanish test on Thursday. (Unless he gets his bonus check, then of course I'd go get it, hahaha!)

Grandma Mosburg shared an encouraging vision that God granted her this week...she was praying for Drew and God was showing her that Drew is under construction. She saw him as a building under construction, which God as the supports and scaffolding. And her words to me, which she felt God was saying to her, were "there's NO way he is not going to make it through this process!" Well, if those aren't powerful words, I don't know what are...she said that God is his support system, and all the situations he's coming up against are there to grow and build him up. I of course believe this, but it is so reassuring that God is affirming that in the minds of others who are praying for Drew as well, not just me.

A Third DONE! Week 10 Starts Tomorrow!

Well, this weekend OFFICIALLY marked the ONE THIRD point of our journey through the CHP Academy. WOO HOO!!!

I prayed most of the way home for peace, strength, and that his brain would be a sponge to all the new information he's going to learn this week in all his new classes that he started last week (really the bulk of his core classes during the Academy). And, that he would be released from his double PT duties, and to have some reassurance that he is giving his 100% in everything.

Drew's day on Friday went alright, he got another test score back which he passed, and his company won the drill competition on Friday morning! Praise the Lord. That officially frees up about an hour of time on Tuesday nights (all other companies have to polish all brass on the Academy grounds for the memorial ceremonies held every Wednesday night for fallen Officers), and up until this point all three companies were having their Tuesday nights cut into by that. And they also get one additional liberty evening of their choice as a reward. Which means that the company can decide on a night other than Wednesday nights on a given week to take one extra liberty evening (and it can't be taken away by restrictions). So, that's exciting too.

Drew only had his training table menu and some studying to do this weekend. That is a huge blessing. He brought his gun belt home...He now has his belt, his duty belt, all the straps that hold those two belts together, his handcuffs and case, his gun and holster, his magazines and two holders, his baton and ring, his pepper spray holder, and his radio and radio attachment for his belt. So, he's starting to look pretty put together :D He started his range classes last week, with rules and how to break down and re-assemble his gun. Tomorrow, he gets to actually start out on the range :)

It was so nice to have him home, to relax Friday night...be productive on Saturday and go to church in the evening...and then be able to relax and spend some more time together this afternoon. And next weekend, Ed and Sherri will be here, that will be very fun...we're excited to see them, and I think Drew is excited to see people. Everyone seems to avoid us, which yes...when he has stuff to do we are very UNavailable, but he likes to break up the routine of the Academy by seeing other people...it makes him feel like he's in the real world, not still stuck in the Academy mode.

He was having a really hard time going back tonight...he said the weekend seemed like it went really fast and he just wanted one more day. But once we got back there, he was ready to get going again. One of his roommates was asleep and the other was sent to the hospital...HA! Ok, it's not that serious...Drew was telling me that last week his roommate got an "ingrown hair" on his hip from beginning to wear his gun belt. Well, by Friday it was the size of his hip, and a huge lump...and it looked like a growth...Drew said it looked like gangreen! Well, he was going to go to the doctor's this weekend, but there was too much of a wait...so he came back tonight, and showed the staff office when he checked in. Drew said it's not swollen anymore, but it looks like there's a hole in his leg...like the pressure finally blew it out...and it's a big open red sore on the side of his hip...so, he was sent to the hospital before his blood could circulate it anymore in case it's a virus or something!!! EEEWWW!!! Drew said it's disgusting...Hopefully, it's not catching :)

CHP ~ Day 44

Oye, I finally just talked to Drew...10:45...fifteen minutes until lights out. I think it amounts to the hardest evening for me to get off the phone. I think he had a late class tonight, which means he probably wasn't done with his day until about 8:30ish, (I only talked to him for less than 5 minutes)...and he did all his written work, which it sounds like there was alot, in a classroom. I was starting to worry about him at about 9:30 so I called and left a message on his phone. And I called him at 10:45 for a last try and to say goodnight, and he thankfully had just gotten back to his room. However, he isn't done with his work, so he is going to work in the bathroom for a while, and then get up early and work on some more then. Which basically means he's going to get 2-3 hours of sleep tonight! He sounds tired, and a little overwhelmed, and they drilled alot today because there is a drill competition of some sort tomorrow.

PRAISE THE LORD HE COMES HOME TOMORROW!!! I'm so worried about him. About his exhaustion, and his hunger, and his stress, and the persecution from all sides. I'm praying HARD that tomorrow is a smooth day, and that his company is outstanding in the competition, and that Drew plays a part in that positively, and that he gets a restful 2-3 hours of sleep, and that God would fill his stomach, and that his work would get done efficiently and quickly. I kept asking him if he was ok, and it was a simple, ya don't worry about me...but I am...and apparently I'm OVERLY emotional from this week. I just started balling when we got off the phone. I feel emotionally and mentally stretched to my limit...beyond the extent of my malability...to my breaking point...I'm afraid I'm going to cry when I see him tomorrow...

All week long I've really felt like the weeks are actually feeling longer and getting harder as we get deeper into this process, for me as well as Drew. It's harder to get off the phone, it's harder to drop him off each time, it's harder to think about what he's gone through throughout the day...I know it's a necessary and temporary evil...and it's going to lead to amazing things, and I'm SO proud of him...but it's finally hitting me (took long enough).

LORD GIVE HIM PEACE, FILL HIM AND SURROUND HIM!!!

CHP ~ Day 43

Well, today was eventful. Heh, I guess that's one way to put it!

I wasn't doing much this morning, I couldn't sleep last night so I was up until 3am once again, so OF COURSE I slept in. My mom called me and we went out to lunch a visited for a bit. And then, my sister came over for a little while after her French class. We were venting about life and visiting for quite a few hours...it's times like that which make me feel close to her, not quite so distanced. :)
I was getting some sandwiches and stuff ready, and shortly after Rachel left, I left to pick up Drew. I ran by the bank and then the gas station first, and I got a call from Drew (as I usually do on Wednesdays to let me know he's done for the day). But, he sounded wretched, and said don't come I'm on restriction...I'll explain to you later if I have time...pray for me. Well, if that's not the most gutt wrenching thing to hear suddenly. So, I called Sherri and my mom to give them updates and have them be praying as well. The only thing I could assume was that he had really bad test scores on the two EVOC written tests he took Monday (which he felt unsure about).

My mom ended up picking me up and driving me up to Auburn to spend the evening with them (get my mind off of stressing). We went to dinner, THE WHOLE FAMILY...amazing! :) And when we got back, I made some banana bread for Drew. He called me at about 9:45 ish.

Apparently, within the last few days (I'm not sure when) all of the cadets in his class filled out a cadet evaluation form, listing their top 3 and bottom 3 cadets (in their opinion). The results were back today, and Drew was in the bottom 3 for 95 of the cadets (about 50% of the class). Which meant he spent a class period being lectured about the issues brought forth by the survey's and that they've never had anyone have so many negatives! There were a few officers in there and the sergant "discussing" with him...and it was immediately after that when he called me -- NO WONDER he sounded so aweful!!! He had to write a 3 page memo on what he wants out of the Academy, what he can do to better himself, and what he can do to try harder. After a certain amount of time, one of the officers came in and read over what he had and shared with him how he can get the most of his Academy experience, and also out of this career, and how he can make a bigger impression that he is working hard. I think that encouraged him a little, but it is still very disheartening to hear that all your hard work is going unnoticed, and quite the opposite...that "he doesn't give 100%".

Well, he called me after he did some homework to say goodnight (around 11:20). He told me that the rest of his day was rough also. A certain officer that was hard on him the first few weeks, had been on vacation for a while and came back today...so that made PT wonderful...and he lost a blue card there for "giving only 50%". He lost another blue card for being late to drill...because he is still on double PT, he is late to catch back up with his company. On a lighter note, he received the test scores from the two Monday tests that he was concerned about, and he received an 80% and a 90%!!! PRAISE GOD!!!

I am now fervently praying that God would release him from his double PT duties. That would keep him on schedule with his company, he would not have a second round of it while others are fresh and on their first, and it would just be one less thing to worry about!!!

CHP ~ Day 42

Today was slow...Drew sounds like his day was slow also.
He had an evening class, so he didn't call me until LATE, but his day seemed to go by alright. But, he's not being completely open. It seems as though he's holding something back. He says everything is ok and he is simply tired...which I have NO doubt of, but it seems like SOMETHING is bothering him.
As for me, I am really wrestling with God right now. I am struggling to not worry, and to trust. Money is tight, and though Drew is getting paid more than the two of us were in combination before the Academy, there was about 2 months of hardly any income, and we are having SO much trouble catching up. We are still pouring money into supply expenses for the Academy, gas is expensive, as is food. I know that God has His purpose for me to be in the home, for now anyway. And that may seem ridiculous, and financially irresponsible. But, I feel that what God was leading me toward a month ago, still applies. Every time I work the budget, pay a bill, or look at our bank account, I freak out. Getting paid ONCE a month is a LONG agonizing stretch to draw income out over. Every time, I stress and start thinking, I have to get a job, I need a job. The second I do, I feel that nudge, reminding me that working is not in God's plan for me right now. I feel ridiculous saying that, it would be so easy to say "Well, you would be happy to not be working, you just want to not be working", BUT REALLY, I am struggling with this. I am having a really hard time letting go of the desire to increase our income. Though we are hardly getting by, perhaps God is breaking me of some form of greed, selfishness, or independance. I'm not sure. But I am REALLY struggling right now.

CHP ~ Day 41

Well, today I spent the majority of the day praying and compiling some encouraging thoughts for our friends who are dealing with some speed bumps. Praying that God would speak the words on the page and that He would use them to pour our love, support and encouragement for them.

Drew had a rough morning it sounds...the PT staff (of course) was picking on him this morning...it is Monday after all. He was put in the back against the wall holding a shotgun straight out again. He started quite a few new classes today also. So, it sounds like it was a long day anyway. He sounds REALLY tired, but his first words to me when I answered the phone were "I'm playing with my gun!" HAHAHA! Well, he was able to open and unpack all the items in his "range bag" that he received on Friday, and today since he got his gun and whatnot today...he was able to unpack and start polishing everything. He told me that he finally feels like he looks cool in his full ensemble! HA! He now has the gun belt, which means he has the correct belt so he is able to start wearing his holster and radio and many other attachments. SO, finally he looks more like a police officer than rent-a-cop :D HAHAHA!!!!

Weekend Eight...Moving Right Along...

Yeah! Drew's home for the weekend, finally...he got some more test scores back yesterday! He believes it was his final for the Crimes Against Children class, an 88%! WooHoo! And he got his range bag yesterday also...with his gun belt, etc in it! So, that means he gets his gun on probably Monday, and starts range either Tuesday or Wednesday!!! He's already at that point!!!

It's nice to have him home, I feel very heavy hearted right now...and I'm not sure why. I don't know if it's stress or the occassional meloncholy spurts I get once in a while...but it's nice to have him here.

We received some sad news today about a couple that is VERY near and dear to our hearts, and has had such an influence on us as we were dating and preparing to get married. They are struggling, and their situation has been on my mind and heart all morning and I feel so disturbed by it. I've been praying about it most of the morning, and wishing we lived closer to them so we could be there to love on and support them. God started showing me a few things that relate to this situation: one thing which I find is interesting- is that my cousin and I were talking about relationships and God spoke through her that I was supposed to pray for relationships (this was only TWO DAYS AGO), and the other is something that I heard a couple weeks ago- I believe I have an entry about it on Tuesday three weeks ago, that at RHOP our Pastor was discussing three Christian leaders who are currently in the midst of scandal and having issues with their relationships and their positions of leadership in His church. Pastor Francis was sharing that Satan is really actively moving right now , to seek, kill, and destroy God's church! And that leaders are being attacked and struggling in so many ways right now. After we all prayed that day, I realized how many leaders in our own church were struggling (with depression mostly), but still doubting themselves. Now we have news of people who are SO much closer to home to Drew and I, and SO dear to us...and they are going through a trial right now as well. All of this solidifying what Jill spoke to me on Thursday.

LORD, BLESS AND KEEP THESE FRIENDS! LORD, GUIDE AND PROTECT THIS FAMILY! KEEP THEM FROM HARM, SURROUND THEM WITH YOUR GUARDIAN ANGELS, AND KEEPT HEM FROM SATAN AND HIS ATTEMPTS TO DISTROY!

CHP ~ Day 39

I had a pretty good day today...hung out with Jilly. We ran some errands and went shopping...it's so nice being so near them :) I even saw my brother :) he was hanging out with Andrew. Jilly and I were talking about lots of stuff and she spoke a word to me...that she feels that God wants me to pray for relationships...because of things that I have dealt with in life through relationships and whatnot. And I thought that was very interesting, I hadn't seen those things from that perspective before...and it relates to my call to JUSTICE prayer also. JUSTICE is generally regarding the value of human life...but the topics involved are VERY relational! (abortion, pornography, homosexuality, sex industry, etc...)

Drew didn't call me until LATE tonight...about 9ish...I think Tuesday really made him realize how much work he can get done if he doesn't try to do it in his room! He was doing his written work (his training table menu, and another report form) in a classroom tonight, and he called me while polishing his boots, and he got to bed around 10! PRAISE THE LORD! So, that's positive, He got another test score back today...A second version of his Radio codes test that he took a couple weeks ago, and he got an 88% on that! PRAISE YOU LORD FOR THE AMAZING RESULTS OF DREW'S TESTS SCORES THROUGHOUT HIS TIME AT THE ACADEMY, AND ALLOWING HIS STUDYING TO PAY OFF!!!

CHP ~ Day 38

Drew had his liberty today, so I ran some errands this afternoon, and went to go pick him up. HA! I have had such a hard time (jokingly) from the Officers when I try to get through the gate :D Most often they just wave me through when they see my sign (rather, a big yellow piece of paper with Drew's info and our license plate # on it)...but there have been a few times- like today I was told that he was on restriction, and I could only pick him up if I fed him heaping amounts of gravy for dinner! I have been asked codes, I was kinda joked about whether I was allowed to come in once and then he laughed and asked how we were doing with the process...they're funny!!! I must be wearing a sign that says easy target!!!

Anywho, I brought Drew sub sandwiches from our favorite sandwich shop in Roseville...Lenny's SO GOOD! We drove over to old town Sacramento and sat on a picnic bench and ate, then walked over to an ice cream shop and got ice cream cones :) We wandered around for a while (it's weird how empty that place is in the middle of the week!) And he was ready to go back yet, so we headed over to IKEA and walked around there for a while (and he got a cinnamon roll and ANOTHER Mountain Dew), he broke his whole diet in this ONE evening of liberty!) But it was fun, it felt like a date, we were alone most of the time, which was nice because we usually end up in a noisy crowded restaurant.

He had a good day...the test score from his big vehicle code test on Monday was a 90%!!! WooHoo! And he found out he gets his gun next week and they start out on the range...Time Must Be Flying!

CHP ~ Day 37

Well, today I was feeling pretty crudy still, I was pretty lazy...BUT, I feel completely exhausted because I worked on the budget for the next 3 months. NOTHING is more exhausting than dealing with money...I HATE IT! But, oh well, it has to be done...and since Im a housewife now, it's REALLY my job with no excuses :)

Drew had a late class (so he was awake at 3:30 and his day ended around 8:15) and alot of written homework tonight, so I hardly talked to him at all this evening. But, it sounds like his day went alright. He does sound tired and is happy to be getting his Wednesday liberty tomorrow night. I'm going to bring him sandwiches from our favorite sub-shop and I think we might walk around old town Sacramento.

Something exciting though...he decided to do his homework in the "lounge" type area (his roommates went to bed around 9!!!) and, he had the opportunity to encourage a guy who is having a rough time. Drew was excited too, because he thought he heard him singing some Christian music, so this may be the first Christian guy he's met there (they really have NO time to socialize, so unless you're roommates- chances are you aren't going to get too friendly with too many other guys). This other Cadet is having a rough time with his roommates, and with his fiance (or ex-fiance I guess). Drew was able to relate to the roommate situation and encourage him there, and tried to encourage him to be motivated to stick with the Academy (not that he's necessarily thinking of quitting, he's just having a challenging time of it right now).

From what I understand, his fiance feels that he is not giving her enough attention right now (HE'S AT THE ACADEMY!), so she called off the wedding. That's really rough...the Officer's PLAINLY state to all friends and family that the strongest reason for quitting the Academy is because of the support group at home...it can make or break you. The time at the Acadmey has to be completely devoted to the Academy and the families have to encourage that despite any emotional feelings. I have had to be somewhat abrasive in encouraging Drew at times even though I've wanted to cry and tell him I want him here. But you CAN'T do that!!! No matter what is going on at home, all of that needs to be suppressed so that your Cadet can focus on the Academy and not feel that he needs to quit and go home. It's not an easy process to get through to become a CHP Cadet, and not many make it this far...and you are only there for SIX months, which is the starting point of a solid 30 YEAR career! With great benefits, security, and many job options! I can understand feeling alone (especially if you were planning something as significant as a wedding by yourself), but those feelings could make or break the career of that loved one...and there is PLENTY of warning before you get yourself into 1/4 of the way through the training process. So, luckily, Drew was able to encourage him, and hopefully (if Drew's feeling is correct) this will give Drew a fellow Christian to turn to in his tough times also.

CHP ~ Day 36

Well, today I didn't do much...feeling a little sick and weak and tired...

Drew had a pretty good day, for a Monday...the one class he had the report due in, he is going to be able to make up the report because he spoke with the intructor about how he was REALLY supposed to write it. He had his big codes test that he was putting notes together for, and he feels pretty good about it, PRAISE GOD. He sounds tired, but it sounded like a typical pretty smooth flowing day, which is very positive.

He bought a new hat today...it is incredible, when new their Cadet caps are BLUE, dark blue. And after a month in the sun, it is BROWN, just faded...no stains, and aside from the stitching there's no proof the fabric of the hat was EVER blue! So, he got another one of those to go on his knoggin.

AND it sounds like Ed and Sherri are coming up at the end of the month, so that will be a nice visit for Drew. I've been researching the nearby hotels for them today... :)

Our 7th Weekend Comes to a Close...20 Weeks Left

Well, PRAISE THE LORD...Drew survived Friday. As it turns out he did not end up having to do all three PT's again on Friday, because he would have missed his run. So, he did his usual two which was a blessing because he didn't think he was going to be able to survive a third, his arms were just too worn out. He DID have his first in car experience at EVOC!!! And he said that it made the first 7 weeks, no matter how hard they were, completely worth it! He passed all the test that they were given the first day: such as straight backing at 40mph and hand over hand turning, etc...The instructors came out in Camaros and were sliding past them...He was VERY hyped on that experience :D

However, due to his EVOC class he missed the first day of another class (report writing), which everyone is going to miss a class at some point as they cycle everyone through. But he needed to depend on another Cadet to collect handouts for him and to write notes for him. When it came to writing the first report assignment this weekend, he had a sample of how to fill out the report form...but the actual written part that is your account of the incident, he really was not sure how he was supposed to put that together. So, we spent some time on that over the weekend...and he spent ALOT of time putting together notes and shortcuts for info on the vehicle codes that he could put into his book. He has a BIG vehicle codes test this week, and its open book and they can put the notes they are able to fit in the back pages of the book. So, hopefully he was able to get togther everything he needed.

It's exciting to see how far God has carried us through this process! All the blessings, all the answered prayers, all the support from our families, and how He has been growing each of us through this whole strange experience!

Drew wasn't able to relax too much this weekend because of all his work, but I fed him well!!! And we were able to get out and see my family for my mom's birthday (excuse me birth-MONTH)! That was fun.

The last couple weeks Drew has not had Wednesday liberties, so the last two weekends have been SO hard to drop him off, because I haven't seen him during the week, and it feels like the weekend is just ONE day too short! But here we are, beginning week EIGHT! AMAZING, two months down...four and a half to go! And PRAISE GOD, he called me after he checked back in and said that his name was not on the restrictions list, so it appears that he has Wednesday liberties this week. That will help the weekend come so much faster!

CHP ~ Day 34

I had another low key day today...cleaned, finished decorating with my pumpkin stuff :) and put all of that away...finished the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, made scones MMMM!!!!

Drew sounded EXHAUSTED tonight. He had a late class so he didn't call me until about 8:45. It was a rough day for him. He ended up with THREE PT classes this morning, whatever the reason they weren't happy with his performance and had three today and will have three tomorrow... :( There are three "companies" within his class, A, B, and C - because he was having difficulty with the push ups he was already indefinitely assigned to two PTs (he's in company A and has to stay and do PT again with company B)...so today and tomorrow, he's there for ALL THREE. He felt pretty confident with his batton handling for his PMA class, but only 16 out of the 200 in his class passed that today (not many usually pass on the first try)...so he was disappointed about that. Luckily, the test he had yesterday and the radio codes test today he feels pretty comfortable about. He asked me to wake up tomorrow morning at 5am and just start praying about the PT in the morning. He's so tired and he's not sure if his muscles are going to be able to hold up tomorrow morning...and then he has his first EVOC lesson tomorrow, and he needs to be able to focus on that.

He's so funny, he's been CRAVING Cheez-it's!!! And every time I talk to him, he brings up the fact that he NEEDS Cheez-it's!!! HA! Poor thing, PRAISE GOD we were able to go shopping last weekend, I have plenty of tasty food to pour into him this weekend, and I'm going to pamper as much as possible...and will be praying all night and all morning tomorrow...

CHP ~ Day 33

Today I cleaned the kitchen, and pulled out my fall decorations...I LOVE HAVING PUMPKINS EVERYWHERE! Ha!

SO!!! I'm so appauled...I know I have commented before on the M&M's commercial, that yes is humorous in it's own way...but completely promotes sex through household name animated CANDIES...well, I saw a LEVI's commercial today...UGH! It's two teenagers (look really young), standing on the end of a pier, they were asking eachother if it was their first time, are you scared, do you trust me? Different things like that...the two KIDS, continue by unbuttoning their 5 button fly jeans (slowly of course) and exposing their underwear...finally they jump off the pier in bra, panties, and boxers...but HONESTLY!!! I'm just APPAULED!!! Another thing selling sex and devaluing the VALUE of life by turning it all toward SEX and that LUST is the desire we need to fullfill. And apparently we like using CARTOON CANDIES...and KIDS THAT LOOK 13 or 14 to sell it...

Drew sounds like he had a decent day...his Wednesday night restrictions tonight was to do an extra PMA class (Physical Methods of Arrest). But, he said that was actually really helpful! He has a test on using his batton tomorrow, the correct way to handle and whatnot. He does have a few tests tomorrow and then EVOC Friday...So, he'll have quite a lot to talk about on Friday when I pick him up :D But, today's test sounds like it went well. They said he was allowed to miss around 13 questions and still pass...and he thinks he missed maybe 5! So, PRAISE GOD for that... :D

CHP ~ Day 32

Went to RHOP today...I sat outside during it, which was very private and relaxing. It was a BEAUTIFUL sunny day, the sky was very blue, and the grass outside the church was very green...a very serene setting. The speakers outside the building make it so that you can hear the worship and prayer and whatever is going on inside...and our church has patio chairs and sofas under awnings out front...it was wonderful.

This morning as I was getting ready to head over to the church, I felt like God was putting my desire to be a mommy on my heart (the desire to be pregnant, the fact that we seemingly CAN'T get pregnant, and the issue of miscarrying). And suddenly I felt God saying that that is not what He has for me...maybe that's just for now, like right now is not the time for us to start a family (which I agree at the moment). I was really saddened all of a sudden, but then felt very calm. God has really led us exactly where He wants us and has been proving time and time again that His plans are not our plans. So, most of the way through RHOP, after I was done praying for JUSTICE and for those I pray for specifically, I started reading verses on barren women of the Bible. Sarah (in Hebrews 11, on faith) and Elizabeth (in Luke 1), both barren for years! Then God abundantly blessed their wombs and used their children in amazing ways. In Judges 13: even Samson's mother was barren. However, if that is not His will for me and my family...I also read verses that encouraged a spiritual family (like Mother Teresa)...that blessed is the barren woman:

"'Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,' says the Lord."
Isaiah 54:1

And God also sent me other encouraging verses such as:

"Praise the Lord! Praise, O servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord. Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised...He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; He seats them with princes, with the princes of their people. He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord."
Psalm 113:1-9

It is amazing that through spending time in prayer for others and for issues I am passionate about...that God is speaking words to me and working through MY situations as well.

I had lunch again at the VanTassell's with Steph and Jill, thank God for my family...they have been so wonderful to me through this stage of our lives!

I drove up to Auburn and spent the rest of the day up there. I painted in my dad's office while my mom worked on paperwork, and we chatted a little...spent some time with Daddy and Matt too, over dinner...AND I even saw Rachel!!! :D Heh, she was at work, but she had called me and said mom and I needed to get over there because she had a bunch of glasses and mugs that she was marking down! :D I bought some plastic glasses for Drew...he likes using plastic for some funky reason.
Drew had an alright day...he cramped up during his run this morning, and he sounds exhausted...I called Ed and Sherri on the way home (on speaker phone of course) and it sounds like they are going to try to come up at the end of this month! I'm excited to see them, and that Drew will have some company around his birthday.

CHP ~ Day 31

Today was rather slow...I was tired...and missing Drew. I cleaned house and didn't do a whole lot today

Drew didn't either. Today was Labor Day, but he didn't have it off...HOWEVER, the PT staff and the senior Cadets did...so it sounds like the day was pretty smooth and low key. But he sounds really tired. He does have multiple tests this week, and I think he's excited about starting EVOC on Friday (Emergency Vehicle Operations Course). But aside from that, he was not very talkative this evening.

Weekend Six ~ First Full Paycheck!

WOW!!! We went to PF Changs last night on our gift money...SO FULL..I don't think Drew has had anything so flavorful in a month! :D

This morning we took a drive up to Auburn and had breakfast at Katrina's...MMMM...that's my dad's FAVORITE breakfast place, Drew ate like a horse...to the point of the waitress laughing at us! :) We then walked through downtown and oldtown Auburn, walked through a few cute shops. It was nice to just stroll around and spend time together.

We then went and visited my parents for a little while...it was nice to see how happy both of them were to see him, and he was ecstatic to not be either at the Academy or at home. Afterwards, we went shopping at Sam's! It's weird having ONE paycheck a month to budget on and then have to SHOP for a month...but we did some damage, and we have more to do tomorrow...but it is SO nice to have our refridgerator be full.

CHP ~ Day 29

Today was a rough day for me mentally! I've been re-working our budget since Drew gets his first full sized paycheck on tomorrow! FINALLY!...Oye, I'm really stressed. So, that has put me into a 'delightful' mood -- and this has pretty much consumed my day. It's rough when we have been "holding on" for 2 months just BARELY skimming the surface of the bills, and hardly being able to buy food or gas...So, hopefully (and I'm praying) that this check is a decent size and it goes through immediately and there are no holds.

I'm just happy Drew comes home tomorrow and we can spend some time together. We received anniversary cards from my mom, Sherri, and Grandma Mac today, and we got $150 between them! So, that's helpful with being able to do something fun for our anniversary this weekend.

Drew had an eventful day! He was in his PMA (Physical Methods of Arrest) class and they were practicing using your batton. Well, they tell you that you are supposed to fight for your life and think properly (even pretend to pull a gun) as if you were in a fight with a suspect on the road. HA! Well, Drew heard that advice...the instructor punched Drew in the jaw as soon as he came at him...so Drew was trying to wrestle with him, and eventually decided he couldn't with his batton. So, while protecting his gun side, he tossed his batton away and got the instructor into a headlock!!! AND HE TAPPED OUT!!! Awesome! And he got props for it...talk about your confidence booster!

CHP ~ Day 28: Two Year Anniversary!

Well, today is our anniversary...TWO YEARS...I just stayed home and stayed to myself today...OK! So I moped a little. I watched some movies, and worked on my blog. Drew didn't get his liberties tonight :( The EVOC test they took last week was SO bad, more than half of his class failed it and had to stay tonight. I guess they didn't have to re-take it...but they had to clean the EVOC course...the cars and move tires...etc But, most of the guys said they'd rather do that than be writing a memo or doing PT. It has been a rough day...I talked to him for about 15 minutes a little bit ago...but we'll hopefully go out to dinner this weekend.

CHP ~ Day 27

I went to RHOP again this morning...but today I went to the "STAFF Set", so I kinda felt out of place like I was intruding on a staff meeting! but it is the House of Prayer, and people are free to come and go as led, so I just tried to mentally move past it :D
Pastor Francis was there and was describing three situations of Christian leaders falling into sin, and causing major termoil in their communities.

• A missionary who was traveling into the country and speaking: accused of molesting a thirteen year old girl on the plane!
• A Pastor: in (I believe) an unfaithful marriage and going through a split...
• An inspirational music artist, with a powerful song: admits that the cancer he's been battling (which led him to writing the song, and has led people to donating money to him) is a farse...he made the whole thing up! Separate bank account, going on stage with a breathing tube...all of it a lie!

Rightly so, Pastor Francis is greatly troubled by this...as was everyone in the room he was telling. And the time became a time of intercession and prayer for the leaders; for these men and their families, for our church leaders, for the spiritual leaders in our country who are battling against evil. And we then moved into a time of reconciliation, that everyone is struggling with SOMETHING, and that those items (especially for the leaders) need to be brought to the table, there need to be NO skeletons in the closet and other believers need to strengthen and encourage eachother.

SIDE NOTE: This is something that I believe is SO important for our leaders. My pastor is an amazing man of God. God's love has poured over his cup, and overflows on EVERYONE around him. And he does the above action. He isn't just open about sharing his life when asked, because he is reconciled through Christ. NO! He brings up the things of his past almost EVERY Sunday, so that no one is unaware. He is honest, open, and broken about everything...and THAT is why everyone respects and loves him, and why I (though I'm shy and do not know him) would feel comfortable about talking to him about anything!

So! Anywho, one of the most widespread issues seemed to be depression. So, they asked anyone who had ever struggle with depression to stand...ALMOST THE ENTIRE ROOM WAS STANDING...well, if you don't know me that well, I do struggle with that from time to time. I am much better than I used to be, but for about three years (end of high school and through most of college) it was really bad. And it was so comforting that I am not alone! And that is usually how it feels when you're depressed...but now I know that I'm NOT the only one feeling the way I do -- and they are my CHURCH elders and staff feeling that way as well...well, we prayed over those around us and it was a Spirit filled blessed time.

I went over to the VanTassell's afterward, with Steph and Jill...we had Taco Bell and Jill and I hung out and watched a movie. (Amazing Grace! SO! good...) She gave me a pedicure...she is such a sweetheart with a servants heart. And we had dinner with the fam! Everyone but Steph was there...nice to be around people :D

Drew called me and his ankle is REALLY beginning to trouble him...and it's finally starting to swell, so he's icing it now. I'm praying that God would touch and heal it so that it no longer troubles him and he shows no weakness. He also had another issue today. They had a Cadet Enrichment seminar today, they were encouraging everyone to go out and do things on the weekends that would strengthen and encourage them, but would give them a break from being at the Academy. One of the things listed was to go to church. Well, heaven forbid anyone suggest doing such an appauling thing! Heh... His roommates were offended and angry that they said that, and began taking it out on Drew a little...they all help eachother in the evenings and Drew corrected a spelling word to one of them: "What the H#!!, was I talking to you?" WOW! Yikes...Thankfully, he did apologize later and say he was really tired. (Which they are all tired and hungry and HAVE to be grouchy). But, there's Drew's first signs of persecution...even there...

CHP ~ Day 26

Today, I went to RHOP for a few hours...I really enjoyed it. The atmosphere there is just full of prayer, worship, and reverence...no distractions, God's presence always feels there in a powerful way! Everytime I go I'm moved, and God always speaks to me through a verse or a song.

I've been praying for Drew alot this evening, he stepped in a gopher hole today on his run... :( he said his ankle and up his shin a bit is really sore but not swollen. BUT, he's supposed to report it right away, and he doesn't feel like it's that serious...so he didn't...SO! hopefully it will be healed by tomorrow's PT.

My mom called and said that she talked to grandpa and grandma from our visit on Friday...and they told her about how Drew had gotten encouragement from Officers last week. She was SO excited to hear that...she told me that Aunt Candy and grandma Mosburg had both last week been praying that he would receive unlikely encouragement at the Academy...what an incredible answer to PRAYER!!!

End of Weekend Five...

Tonight, Drew really didn't want to go back...it almost seems that it is harder to continue when you have a relaxing and "normal" weekend at home, as opposed to the stressful homework packed weekends. Most of the drive back to the Academy I was quizzing him on some terms for EVOC (Emergency Vehicle Operations Course), he is really nervous about knowing them word for word...but he knows them. He just needs to be confident enough that he doesn't freak himself out and forget them. It was hard leaving tonight...I watched him walk down the hallway and into his room. It's a weird feeling. Wanting him to come home so I don't have to go home alone...but knowing I have to ignore that and actually act like I WANT him to go back, so that he has NO inclination whatsoever that he needs to come home. It's sort of a lonely feeling.

SO! Once again, God is my company the WHOLE long drive home (ok, it's really not that long, but it feels like it when you're alone and it's dark). I was praying over Drew and his week ahead, and over our finances. We really haven't had much money since BEFORE the Academy started (mid-July!!!) and we have to hang on until the end of this week, Friday is payday. It will be our first full-sized paycheck...so hopefully Drew will feel more confident that his hard work is paying off once that comes.

CHP ~ Day 25

I went up to Auburn this morning, my haircut!!! :D I love it, it looks just like the picture. I'm going to have to get used to embracing the fullness of it, I've been straightening for so long now... :P

I headed over afterwards to my parents house and went to lunch with Rachel and mommy. We went to this salad shop in downtown Auburn, YUMMY! It's nice to be close enough to visit with them in the morning.

I headed over to Grandpa and Grandma Rosene's for a while and visited with them. I haven't seen them since before Drew left, I think. But we haven't seen very many people since Drew left at all...But that was nice to see them and share what God is doing.

Drew had a good day too! ANOTHER 100%! And the unthinkable happened, he got 2 compliments! One was because he was not repeating the greeting that everyone else was saying and looked at his watch first, when he said "good afternoon"...the Officer pointed him out, Drew was so happy. And in his extra PMA (Physical Methods of Arrest) class today, his instructor pulled him aside (which he was afraid he was getting in trouble!) and she told him good job, because she could see he was stepping it up! PRAISE GOD!!! That is just amazing!

CHP ~ Day 24

Today I wasn't feeling well, so I watched a bunch of TCM...shocker! And it was all Gene Kelly movies...makes me want to dance!

I cleaned the house a little (I like it to be clean when Drew comes home), and I looked online for a hairstyle (I'm getting my haircut, after OVER a year, tomorrow)! He should like it, it's a Mariska Hargitay (the actress on Law and Order: SVU), and he likes her. :)

I'm so worried about Drew...this week, he's been going to bed hungry! :( That scares me...I know he's on a diet but good grief! He is able to go into the Staff Office and get fruit if he's hungry, but that only does so much. I'll just have to make sure I feed him good this weekend...but 5 minutes there is not a lot of time to fill your tummy!!!

CHP ~ Day 23

Today I went to RHOP again. Today God was revealing more things to me and showing me verses that affirm this calling. The two very specific one would be:


"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, and have been called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:28

"Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persever in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."
I Timothy 4:11-16


The reason these two seemed so inspirational is because the first is a verse from my Junior High. Calvary Chapel Christian School's mascot was the Conquerer, and this verse is from that passage used by that school. Random? Maybe to some...but to me it was God revealing another "puzzle piece" and where it fits in. I have heard that verse so many times and we memorized it...to the point where the meaning is gone and each time you read it you just read it like a memory verse. Today I READ that verse for the first time, and it took different meaning -- I feel that I am being called to His purpose for my life...and Drew and I are currently braving the storm of finances during this transition, and it is the first time I haven't worked since my first year of college!

The second verse had alot of the same meaning. The second sentance in verse eleven is another common verse that many people have memorized...but again, I READ this verse for the first time today...and God was truly reassuring me in this verse. That I may be young, what I am doing may seem silly or not make sense, and may not seem like the financially savvy thing to be doing at this stage of life. But to devote myself and not be discouraged. Also, the second portion is the reason for my starting this blog (and is at the bottom of every page of it)...To devote myself so that others can see what God is doing in my life! Not only to show people that I am growing in Him, but that He can do the same for anyone who trusts and seeks Him, and will reveal Himself to them as well.

I was so excited, I wrote Drew a letter and included the verses to encourage him in what God is doing in my life and for us.

I picked Drew up tonight and we headed to In-N-Out, he needed that apparently!!! The lack of flavor and substantial foods at the Academy makes him eat like a horse when he gets away! It was nice to visit for a little while though. After eating, he wasn't ready to go back so we wandered for a while through the massive IKEA that is across the freeway from the Academy...it's HUGE!!! It was nice to walk around the store and feel like a normal couple though for a little while :)

CHP ~ Day 22

I went to RHOP today. And I prayed for a while. It's weird...I feel so strange, I am still in the process of developing my prayer time, so I feel kinda scatter brained right now. But today, I was really trying to focus on praying for Drew and for my time I will be spending in the House of Prayer, and preparing my heart. I also started trying to decide how I wanted to separate my intercessorary topics throughout the week, and what days to focus on the different people that I pray for. As I was attempting to begin looking at verses (I bring my concordance with me)...God was really just revealing affirmation verses to me...about being called, etc...

I had seen Stephanie's car outside when I drove in and wanted to see if she was still there...so I went upstairs and she was in her office, I met the children's pastor Sarah (her office-mate), her husband is also in law-enforcement and she was just encouraging me to stick it out...Steph and I talked for a while about what God is stirring in my soul, and she was really excited and discussed with me and prayed for me. And she told me that these topics that I am focussing on are classified as JUSTICE intercession. Which is amazing that there is a classification...because that, for some reason, solidifies that this is an actual "topic" and an actual "issue"...and seemed to give me even more purpose having a title.

She asked me all sorts of questions about how life is while Drew's gone and whatnot. And really encouraged me to not feel alone, and to lean on her and Jill and the family I have nearby when I begin to feel like a recluse. We decided that we are going to visit and have lunch...her, Jill and I...every Tuesday after the Staff RHOP set. YAY!

CHP ~ Day 21

Today my mom came and took me to lunch...I told her about everything that God was revealing to me last night on the way home -- she's excited for me and thinks it's wonderful. We went to Home Depot and I helped her buy some pots and flowers for the backyard that she's relandscaping.

Drew called tonight, he received a 93% and a 100% on the two tests last week!!!...and that's NOT including his spelling tests (which he's been getting A's on)! He sounds tired...but I'm SO relieved! I told Ed and Sherri and they were ecstatic! It's been so wonderful to have such laid back in-laws that I can call and talk to and to vent to...and they have been so supportive...and they're SO proud of Drew!

Revelation

So, tonight, I dropped Drew off again. As usual, to calm myself and bless my husband as he starts his week...I prayed the WHOLE way home. I started praying (as usual) for peace and patience and endurance and wisdom for Drew. I then suddenly began reflecting on last nights sermon message which had really moved me, I was replaying alot of the main points in my head...my attention then began to focus on how the experience at RHOP last Wednesday was and how I really enjoyed that.

All of a sudden God began to reveal all sorts of things from throughout my life to me.

• how I have NEVER felt called to foreign missions (since Junior High I felt very strongly about that)
• how I am patriotic and feel that America is in JUST as bad of shape as anyone
• how my personality tends to turn inward and not gravitate toward other people
• how I have had a desire to be a prayer warrior since early High School
• how I feel about the abortion issue and how my worldview class in High School gave me ammunition to back my beliefs (and I have written a few reports on the issue of Pro-Life since)
• that since I heard about the issues of sex trade in Cambodia about 3 years ago, my heart has ached for those children
• how, as a girl, I feel the pressure of the media/entertainment/fashion industries of what "beauty" is
• that as a wife, who wants to be a mother, thinking about raising a Junior High or High Schooler in today's world, the burden of overcoming that is terrifying!...but I'm still young enough to relate and have my heart go out to them...
• how working in a secular environment has proven to me, the world has become so shockingly tolerant to issues such as pornography, prostitution, and masterbation...and how those issues are no longer taboo
• how the general issue of SEX has just become so common and bombards us at EVERY angle!

As I was going over all these points in my head and thinking about how through the course of my life a different issue has become something that I feel strongly about and now all of them are or were at one point: I had a revelation!!! Suddenly I realized, this is it! God has been gradually throuout my life revealing different issues to me to be passionate about and as I developed convictions about each one, and now hear a message involving ALL, and now feel I have a place to go and be silently in God's precense...OH! I am to be a prayer intercessor, at the Rock House of Prayer, for these issues and the value of life. And not until this point in my life could I have had the flexibility to do this. I am now unemployed, a stay at home wife here to be Drew's support...and an intercessor for the value of human life!!!

PRAISE GOD...I have never felt more sure of what my purpose is!

Weekend Four ~ Beginning of a Spiritual Journey!

We didn't do much today...Drew was able to relax alot, which he NEEDED!
Church tonight was great -- it really stirred me! It was on the value of human life, our series is "Christians Behaving Boldly". The topics discussed were sex, abortion, porn, prositution, false image, media/entertainment, STD's, and sex trade (specifically Cambodia). Very powerful...and ALL these things are issues that I have really had a heart for (or well, against I guess) when I've heard them discussed and hearing facts and information about them. So, everything I heard was something I'm pretty passionate about. And as I was listening to what the pastor was saying and how he believes that we all feel that these are all the "norm" but nothing will ever change if SOMEONE doesn't do SOMETHING. I really started praying that the people around the room who seemed to really be taking in what he was saying and really seemed motivated by what they were hearing, would NOT go home and watch a movie and become caloused. So often we hear messages like this, as Christians, and we feel powerfully moved to do something...but the second we leave the doors of the church, we have left that Spiritual passion and drive inside and seem to wak away from it. So, I was praying that God would reach into hearts and prevent that from happening, and that the listeners would be moved to DO something, not to just agree. I think part of me was so passionate because with the want to become a parent, the thought of raising a junior high or high schooler in today's society...where sex and everything that goes with it is no longer taboo...where girls dress in a way that devalues themselves to get the want for attention and affection satisfied, and men are driven by lust rather than love to get their own physical and emotional needs satisfied...it terrifies me!!!

When I got home we turned the TV on, and we saw an add on TV for the new "decadent" M&Ms...it's all about the sexy green girl M&M with high heels and eyelashes...it's all in slow motion...she's rubbing her finger through chocolate and then on her lips, she's seductively bouncing up and down on the bed...the music is sensual...and at the end she's in a weird pose and she asks if their done, and the other M&Ms are there with camera equipment and are just awestruck and staring...and a light bulb breaks and they all kinda snap out of it...EVEN CANDY!!! good greif...and it's not only selling the "sexy" image of the candy - but the M&M guys are selling sex! Drew and I think the commercial is kinda humorous, but at the same time we're appauled by the image that it is selling. I realized that the prayer I was praying in church meant NOTHING if I didn't act as well! If I allow myself to become numb to the media, I too will forget that stirring from the Holy Spirit.

SO!!! I just signed on to my Myspace page...and it's GONE!!! I had signed on and there was a puppy video that I watched, and when it was done it wanted me to watch clips of movie stars for bad movies, people getting drunk, and girls in underwear...and I was mad about it...So, no more Myspace!!! I feel liberated!!!

CHP ~ Day 19

OYE! Stayed up ALL night last night...I was working on typing out the verses for Drew. I really wanted to get them to him this week, and not just give them to him over the weekend. So, I finished early this morning and called the Academy to see if there was a place that was acceptable for me to drop them off. I drove to the Academy and dropped the letter and verses off at the front desk so that Drew would get some mail today.

So, I then headed up to Auburn and I spent most of the afternoon with grandpa and grandma Mosburg and my mom and Rachel, we had grandma's homemade tacos and homemade ice cream and hot fudge!!! mmmm...we visited and did a puzzle. And from lack of sleep I headed over to mom and dad's and PASSED OUT on the couch! :D So, I tried to regroup myself, and I ended up going out to dinner with daddy and mommy at the alehouse in Auburn.

PRAISE GOD...I had a great chat with my dad tonight...it was nice to visit with him! We were out sitting on the patio he just put in in the backyard, and the moon was almost full, so it was bright and in Auburn you can see the stars. It was nice...and it's really late so it looks like I'll be spending the night here...

Drew is doing well, another good test score today! 83% So, it looks like thanks to his third test, he gets to come home this weekend again!!! :D (so, I'll see him tomorrow!!!)

CHP ~ Day 18

Today I woke up late!...this whole late night thing is hard...I can't seem to get to bed at a decent hour...

I asked Steph and Jill what time the services at the Rock House of Prayer are at and what it's like...I decided to go and pray for Drew, so I could be undistracted and focus on the verses I'm putting together and focus on pleading with God for Drew. The whole experience was wonderful! I really enjoyed spending a few hours in such a worship/prayer focused atmosphere. I'd really like to go back. I worked on the verses and finalized them...God really led to many verses in the Psalms, which was very interesting because Drew has felt very intrigued by David and the verses were of him pleading with God and then praising Him for blessing him. So, now I'm typing them out...it's going to take FOREVER!!! I have SO many verses.

Unfortunately, Drew didn't have tonight off, but he sounded chipper on the phone, he was on the way to the classroom, his 'punishment'...he has to sit in there and write a memo...Hopefully he will keep his perkiness despite it...

CHP ~ Day 17

I had lunch with my mom today, and ran some errands with her. She's been buying plants and pots for the new patio in the backyard. It was nice to spend time with her.

I did NOT sleep well last night! I am REALLY worried about Drew -- I realized last night that there is nothing I can say anymore...so I am working on compiling some verses for him, to encourage and motivate him. I have been working on that most of the day! When Drew called...he sounded MUCH better than yesterday, but I'm still worried. He stayed up into the WEE hours of the morning in the restroom so he would have light trying to get all his homework done.

Almost everyone is aware of what is going on and praying about it...he did try to reassure me that of course he was not going to quit...but as of last night and all day today I've been deathly afraid I was going to get a phone call asking me to come pick him up because he was done...heh, Sherri asked me what I would do if he did call like that, I said I would ask him if he had already signed out and if it was too late, because I wasn't going to come get him! I just hope he can push through it! I keep hoping he's not going to call...so nervous...

CHP ~ Day 16

OYE! What a day...Rachel came over to hang out, we watched an old Doris Day movie while she organized some photos for her friends album. We then went to Quiznos for dinner...my sister paid! She's so sweet...

Drew had a rough day...that would be an understatement. His PT went bad today...once again those pushups and "nose-in-rings", that seem to get him in trouble repeatedly. He just couldn't do any more...so he got pushed to sitting against the wall -- well, you can't do that terribly long either! Therefore, he was yelled at (of course), and his punishment became writing an outline for a large chapter in one of his books...those were the only instructions he got. So, he has to do that like a memo, along with his other studying and homework...and because he's on that training table diet thing, he has to a memo of his diet for the day as well...So, in his frustration and freaking out about it - I tried to remind him that all the officer's go through this...and his response was, NO! I am the ONLY one who has it this hard!!! :)

...oye!, I have been PRAYING -- called my mom and Sherri...I'm really worried about him...I realize that it's to the point where I can't come up with my own words that will be encouraging enough...

CHP ~ Day 13

Today I slept surprisingly well, and I'm feeling completely better.
Paige Nair sent me a message on Facebook today, saying the Kenny was able to re-apply yesterday for the Academy...oye, they have to start that long process over! But she said they are more comfortable with the idea of the process now, so that's a praise. I spent the afternoon visiting with mommy here and then we went out shopping.

PRAISE GOD, I was able to see Drew this evening. It's amazing what ONE hour in the middle of the week does to break up a week apart! We went to BJ's, it was nice to go out and relax for a while. He's so cute...I'm so excited for him! He actually refers to what is going on as FUN! HaHa! Well, that's wonderful, I'm glad he sees it as challenge. PRAISE GOD!!!

CHP ~ Day 12

Today I felt better, but just did some more laying around. I still feel very meloncholy and like a recluse. Alot of TCM :)

Drew told me he got another 93% on a test...PRAISE GOD!!! I called my mom and Sherri and let them know...it is WONDERFUL how much support we are receiving! PRAISE THE LORD!

CHP ~ Day 11

OYE!!! I've been very meloncholy today. I started feeling icky with stomache pains and I feel exhausted. It doesn't help that we were SO rushed again yesterday. The whole weekend again was packed with homework. He had to re-write his first memo, he had another one to write...hours of SLOW writing assignments.

So, I feel bad. I layed around all day and watched TCM, Turner Classic Movies I think is one of my favorite channels now. I am COMPLETELY intrigued by the old movies.

CHP ~ Day 10

Well, today Leah and I headed for the airport, but stopped and had lunch and did some shopping first. We went to Lenny's (Drew's favorite sub shop), and then we went to the LOFT, LOVE that store. It's been nice to have company here.

We headed toward the airport, and I dropped Leah off about 4 hours before I needed to pick Drew up. So, I headed to the Starbucks, and I had my magazines, some books and whatnot with me. It was a very nice relaxing few hours by myself in a corner :D I was sitting there, SO excited to see Drew, and happy that I was going to have him for a few days :)

Heh, well, tonight is shaping up alot like last week, we went to dinner at Cabos (ummm, Mexican food). And then Drew crashed when he got home, while I've been making sure the laundry gets done and hung up so that it's not wrinkled. But there is something very nice and soothing knowing he is home.

CHP ~ Day 9

Today was fun! I called my mom and talked to her about everything that is going on with us as far as yesterday goes. She was SO excited for us...she started crying! I think Ed was right - I really needed to pray that God would reveal his will for us to my parents also, so that they can also see how He is working.

We had lunch with my mom and the three of us went shopping a bit. We had fun, watched a movie when we got back and then walked up to Big Spoon and got some frozen yogurt (heh, I'm a bad influence, Sherri'd kill me :) ).

Drew called...ANOTHER HUGE PRAISE!!! 93% on his first POST test, he hasn't ever had scores like that in his life. God is providing and working in our lives in incredible ways! PRAISE GOD!!!

CHP ~ Day 8

WOW!!! God manifested His purpose and control today in amazing ways! Inspiring Drew to know the ONE code he was asked so he could leave this evening for liberty! And he got his first paycheck today...the grand-daddy of blessings! I am shaking...Drew's paycheck covered rent and then some, the remainder and his bonus check we weren't expecting (which they said we should be getting in a couple weeks) should together cover food and gas at least!
Not needing to borrow money = PRICELESS!

Drew had dinner with Leah and I after I picked her up at the airport, and we went shopping!!! Seeing him during the week REALLY helps break up the week. I think it was nice for him to see someone from his family and that he was out doing something, not just me helping him escape for an our. Leah and I had fun visiting---it's nice to see her. Shopping and visiting at home, it's nice having someone here with me.

PRAISE GOD!!!

CHP ~ Day 7

I dropped Jill off this afternoon, after going grocery shopping ($60) and then having to get gas ($40). Ugh, money we don't have right now. So, I really STRESSING now! I came home and crashed after seeing that we have $26 in our account! I slept for a while. My mom's comment is that it is hard to believe that this is where God wants me...which, unfortunately I ask the same question...I don't want to because I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is telling us to hang on.

I talked to Ed and Sherri tonight, they listened to me blab for about an hour and really listened and gave me some positive feed back. Alot of supportive words. It was EXACTLY what I needed calm down and not stress Drew out, as he is beginning to freak a bit too. He was telling me tonight that he is having trouble remembering what he studies, and to pray for that. His homework seems to be very time consuming right now, and he doesn't have alot of time for studying.

CHP ~ Day 6

Last night I dropped Drew off...and I think it was harder than dropping him off the first day. The drive home seemed long, it was dark and night, and I was coming home alone...Last week I hung out with the VanTassell's all day so it didn't feel like I was ALONE. :(

And the weekend, HECTIC. I did Drew's laundry all night Friday night to keep anything from getting too wrinkled. Saturday was alot of organizing, and him giving me paperwork. Sunday was a CRAMMED day of homework!!! All written, so I don't forget ever...he has to handwrite all his "homework", it is the equivalent of a 12 pt sized font, written in the 'stencil' that keeps the letters a uniform size and straight, single spaced, and all caps...if there's a mispelling, mistake, mark, touching letters: you start over...needless to say, it appears it is going to be a 6 hour project to write a "memo". And it was being worked on and put together, right up until we had to leave to get him back to the Academy... :( No rest for the weary?

Today, however, I spent all day with Jill. We painted, watched movies (CHOCOLAT) which is why she then baked a DECADENT chocolate cake from SCRATCH, and talked until the wee hours of the morning. It's amazing to talk to Jill, and know I'm not alone in feeling lonely and confused when following God's leading. And still trying to show others that I am doing to correct thing.

CHP ~ Day 5

Oh my!!! I was cleaning and doing laundry all day trying to make the apartment PERFECT for Drew...and I left to go get him around 4. There's a Starbuck's a block away from the Academy entrance, so I waited there.

I was SO excited to see him...I parked and sat there, got out of the car and sat in front of Starbucks, it was too hot so i sat in the door of my car and turned the vent on, (I could not sit still) so finally I decided to try and calm down and not think about searching around the parking lot for any car that might have Drew's head in it...and this guy cals me to talk about car/renters insurance through the CHP...ugh, and of course the second the guy calls Drew's roommate pulls up to drop Drew off...I wanted to get out and hug him SO bad, and the guy wouldn't get off the phone "Oh, well everyone else here has gone home for the day, and I stayed late until 6 just to talk to him because I know they will get in trouble if I were to call him at the academy before 6pm, and for me to stay late says alot." Well, cocky jerk, I stayed on the phone with him, Drew got in the car, I told the guy that "My husband just got here and I havenn't been able to say hello to him yet"...and he kept asking me questions, trying to quote me trying to explain what he would sign me up for...FINALLY, after about 10 minutes of sitting there, and establishing that NO he was not going to be able to offer me a better rate than AAA I told him "Look, I haven't seen my husband in a week, he's been sitting next to me for 10 minutes and I haven't been able to hug him yet, so I'm going to go"..."Uh, well can I get your email address and information so I can send you a quote"..."NO, we will call you after we discuss and if we are interested"...OYE!!! Finally, I hugged my husband, never felt so good before!!!

He of course is passed out (the second we got back from eating dinner), on the couch...I'm doing all his laundry so that's out of the way, SO nice having him in the house!!!

CHP ~ Day 4

Today I slept WAY past when I wanted to! Not sure how it was so easy to get into the midnight-3am schedule, but it has happened.

I sewed alot today, made some brownies, did some dishes-- but I have alot to do before I go pick up Drew tomorrow! He had a physically rough day today...Almost QUIT...but he sounded incredibly chipper on the phone! :) I guess his PT instructor was yelling at him while he was doing push ups. The one thing he did not condition himself for as much as anything else was pushups! He was yelling in his face and telling him that he should just quit since he can't do the pushups...and he was thinking that well, maybe he should 'cause he doesn't need to take that...but PRAISE THE LORD, he was able to move past those thoughts, even though some guys actually did walk out! He's going to be exhausted tomorrow, he'll get yelled at more and some more PT like today. THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING HIM THE STRENGTH TO ENDURE!!!

CHP ~ Day 3

I'm not sure where today went, I somehow slept forever last night. And I lounged around the house today. I did work on my dress a little (since Ed and Sherri got me that dress form for my birthday!), and I started researching more clothes ideas on Anthropologie's website (I've decided I really like their clothes).

I was able to talk to Drew again tonight, PRAISE GOD! He got all of our insurance and benfefit stuff taken care of today. Tomorrow he starts PT (the physical training) and that's really going to DRAIN him! But my plan is for him to crash when he comes home on Friday and other than laundry and studying he will do NOTHING but relax this weekend! I miss him very much, but I've done really well with staying on top of my daily letters for him so far! :)

CHP ~ Day 2

Today, I went up to Auburn and spent the day with Grandma Mosburg. Grandpa is still recovering from his knee surgery, so I spent the day driving her to Costco and getting some of her grocery shopping out of the way. It was so nice to feel close enough to help her out. They have blessed me so much through love and prayer, it was wonderful to be able to give back to her.

I then was at my parents house for the afternoon, but left because both mommy and I had fallen asleep! When daddy came home for lunch, I had a bit of a downer though. I can put it into perspective...I know him and Matt had a rough day on the job, and that he's tired and working hard. I also was at their house eating their food! However, "How's the fabulous life of the rich and famous? Well, you aren't working, so you much be rich and famous" was not quite what I had in mind when I told my parents about our situation, where we felt God was leading us, and that though they may not agree we could use their prayers and support. I'm not greatly bothered by it, and really not terribly surprised, I'm just realizing that where God wants me is not always obvious to anyone aside from myself.

Drew was able to call again tonight! He sounds great, so I'm ecstatic! It seems that he had yelling and lots of paperwork yesterday, and today was mostly information and introduction to his classes. I called Ed and Sherri to update them...they were happy and so proud and excited for Drew! I'm excited to see how this experience changes Drew and his self worth. I talked to Ed about what my dad said, and he had a good point..."If I could count all the stupid things I've said as a dad..." well, ok that's true. And they both encouraged me to pray for family and friends, that God would show everyone that this IS the place He wants us so that we can receive that positive reinforcement. I'm ashamed to say, I didn't think about it from that perspective! So, now I am not only praying for my parents in general, but now adding the request of a revelation to them and to Ed and Sherri and to all our family so that they will be the encouraging support group I need, as I become the support group that Drew needs.

First Day, Of the Rest of Our Lives!

Today I had to drop Drew off by 7:30am! Not much time to have a very meaningful goodbye!
We got to the Academy at about 7ish, and we started pulling his bag out, and my heart sank. A sudden urge to tell him not to leave me. But I know that through this whole thing I have to be, almost caloused, and not show my feelings in a way that would make him feel like he is needed at home!

I was so nervous driving home. The only way I can explain it, or the only thing I can seem to relate it to, would be like a mom dropping her kid off at camp and not knowing when you'll hear from them, knowing you can't do ANYTHING, and they are on their own. Well, of course I'm aware that he is my husband not my child, and he is a man, but there is still that attachment and that feeling that we are both dependant on one another. Now he's in the hands of people that are certainly not going to be kind, because that's their job. And I cannot be his encouragement, because I haven't a clue if I'll hear from him today or not, and if I do it won't be until the evenings.

So, driving back to Roseville, I was praying!!! I was praying so hard that God would give Drew strength and peace and courage and wisdom. And I just completely emotionally wore myself out, I passed out on my bed when I got home! Praise the Lord for my cousins! I met up with Steph and Jill for lunch and we roamed the mall and a few other stores, and that kept me chipper enough, I was still thinking about him often enough to be praying for him constantly, but I was distracted just enough to not be depressed.

I got to hang out with them for the rest of the evening at their house and remain distracted, which was a blessing. I am so appreciative that we are living up here during this and I have family so close.

By God's grace, Drew was able to call me tonight!!! He called me very late, but we were able to talk for a few minutes. He sounded wonderful! He said he had psych'd himself out so much that the first day was bad, but not as bad as he thought it was going to be! PRAISE GOD! He sounded tired but perky, and therefore, my heart is completely at peace and at ease now. Thank you LORD for this blessing!

CHP Orientation

VERY STRANGE!!! Today we had the official orientation, and Drew reports tomorrow morning. We sat through many discussions and QA's in the gym at the Academy this afternoon. I watched a group of Cadets march by and shout "Good Afternoon Ladies, Good Afternoon Gentlemen" as they walked by. Each one of them to each person they walked by! I feel excited and nervous and very out of place. We've joined this "brotherhood" type thing, and it's very foreign to me.

I was telling Drew, the only thing I have participated in was buying his boots (which was strange enough to be in a store with all law-enforcement) and the last orientation which only had about 40 people there in a small classroom. Aside from those two things, Drew could have been off doing who knows what for the past few months instead of interview and ridealongs and I would not know the difference. I feel as though all the anticipation which has surrounded this for the last YEAR, just suddenly hit me like a brick wall and here I am!!! We watched videos today of the work out regimine and various road course exercises that the Cadets get trained on, so that was interesting. But we are both on information overload!!!

Endless amounts of paper concerning benefits, what to bring, what to be prepared for, info for support groups and families, info on pay, info on support for Cadets and Officers, etc... VERY overwhelming. We went on a tour of the campus. Saw the ground, the drill pad, the 'quads' where the Cadets live, we saw the fountain in the "Quad" (Honoring fallen Officers), and the exercise areas.

I'm excited and nervous. I didn't think I would be, but I am finally starting to feel that way. Luckily, Drew is not more nervous now...he's LESS nervous, and so excited! I'm so excited to see what this does for him. A sense of pride and accomplishment, and the respect from havingsuch a career! As scared as I am, I am ecstatic to see what the next couple years are going to look like. Especially since we DID NOT anticipate this, I did not marry a Cop! :)

Loss of Job, Anticipating Academy

Well, today has been very difficult! I'm really on overload and don't know what to do. And yet I have this amazing calm and peace about it all.

Today there was so much going on, grandpa was going in for knee surgery, we got back two days ago from southern Cal, we didn't borrow money to get through the next month (as we had intended on doing), and we had a CHP Cadet orientation to go to in Sacramento tonight. Well, to add to it, I lost my job today! OYE! Ok, I really stressed for about 2 hours... What are we going to do? How are we going to survive? How are we going to make it through the first month of the Academy and not get paid!!!??? But, alot of that we had to ignore. We had the Cadet meeting tonight, and we really needed to be focused and remember all of our questions and be able to pay attention to the information given to us.

Well, praise God for such a distraction. Not only did it take our minds off of our seemingly impending doom, but it also gave us the answer to all those WHY? questions!

A Cadet's wife got up and spoke to us tonight. She was describing how the weekend ritual of "liberty" goes in her house. How incredibly busy and exhausted and stressed her husband is. And listening to her I received a very different perspective on the coming months that I hadn't seen before. As he pushes through the next few months, (that sound like they are going to be horrendous!) he needs me to be supportive, to focus solely on him, and to take care of everything so he doesn't have to. God really pulled me together, quite suddenly, and I realized I lost my job for a reason. I am not supposed to be working during this whole phase, that's not what He has in store for us. I need to be able to listen and support Drew without any issues from throughout my day getting in the way of that!
I have been very burnt out on my job and the people there for quite a few months now. It was a wonderful blessing at the time I received it, but it has served that purpose and it is now time for me to move on for what God now has for me. Drew and I discussed this alot this evening, and we both feel like this is what needs to happen.

We feel led by God, at peace in His will, and that we agree. However, we are concerned about the pressure we are going to receive, and how on earth we are going to financially stay afloat through to Drew's first full paycheck -- September!