CHP ~ Day 32

Went to RHOP today...I sat outside during it, which was very private and relaxing. It was a BEAUTIFUL sunny day, the sky was very blue, and the grass outside the church was very green...a very serene setting. The speakers outside the building make it so that you can hear the worship and prayer and whatever is going on inside...and our church has patio chairs and sofas under awnings out front...it was wonderful.

This morning as I was getting ready to head over to the church, I felt like God was putting my desire to be a mommy on my heart (the desire to be pregnant, the fact that we seemingly CAN'T get pregnant, and the issue of miscarrying). And suddenly I felt God saying that that is not what He has for me...maybe that's just for now, like right now is not the time for us to start a family (which I agree at the moment). I was really saddened all of a sudden, but then felt very calm. God has really led us exactly where He wants us and has been proving time and time again that His plans are not our plans. So, most of the way through RHOP, after I was done praying for JUSTICE and for those I pray for specifically, I started reading verses on barren women of the Bible. Sarah (in Hebrews 11, on faith) and Elizabeth (in Luke 1), both barren for years! Then God abundantly blessed their wombs and used their children in amazing ways. In Judges 13: even Samson's mother was barren. However, if that is not His will for me and my family...I also read verses that encouraged a spiritual family (like Mother Teresa)...that blessed is the barren woman:

"'Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,' says the Lord."
Isaiah 54:1

And God also sent me other encouraging verses such as:

"Praise the Lord! Praise, O servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord. Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised...He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; He seats them with princes, with the princes of their people. He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord."
Psalm 113:1-9

It is amazing that through spending time in prayer for others and for issues I am passionate about...that God is speaking words to me and working through MY situations as well.

I had lunch again at the VanTassell's with Steph and Jill, thank God for my family...they have been so wonderful to me through this stage of our lives!

I drove up to Auburn and spent the rest of the day up there. I painted in my dad's office while my mom worked on paperwork, and we chatted a little...spent some time with Daddy and Matt too, over dinner...AND I even saw Rachel!!! :D Heh, she was at work, but she had called me and said mom and I needed to get over there because she had a bunch of glasses and mugs that she was marking down! :D I bought some plastic glasses for Drew...he likes using plastic for some funky reason.
Drew had an alright day...he cramped up during his run this morning, and he sounds exhausted...I called Ed and Sherri on the way home (on speaker phone of course) and it sounds like they are going to try to come up at the end of this month! I'm excited to see them, and that Drew will have some company around his birthday.