Today was slow...Drew sounds like his day was slow also.
He had an evening class, so he didn't call me until LATE, but his day seemed to go by alright. But, he's not being completely open. It seems as though he's holding something back. He says everything is ok and he is simply tired...which I have NO doubt of, but it seems like SOMETHING is bothering him.
As for me, I am really wrestling with God right now. I am struggling to not worry, and to trust. Money is tight, and though Drew is getting paid more than the two of us were in combination before the Academy, there was about 2 months of hardly any income, and we are having SO much trouble catching up. We are still pouring money into supply expenses for the Academy, gas is expensive, as is food. I know that God has His purpose for me to be in the home, for now anyway. And that may seem ridiculous, and financially irresponsible. But, I feel that what God was leading me toward a month ago, still applies. Every time I work the budget, pay a bill, or look at our bank account, I freak out. Getting paid ONCE a month is a LONG agonizing stretch to draw income out over. Every time, I stress and start thinking, I have to get a job, I need a job. The second I do, I feel that nudge, reminding me that working is not in God's plan for me right now. I feel ridiculous saying that, it would be so easy to say "Well, you would be happy to not be working, you just want to not be working", BUT REALLY, I am struggling with this. I am having a really hard time letting go of the desire to increase our income. Though we are hardly getting by, perhaps God is breaking me of some form of greed, selfishness, or independance. I'm not sure. But I am REALLY struggling right now.
He had an evening class, so he didn't call me until LATE, but his day seemed to go by alright. But, he's not being completely open. It seems as though he's holding something back. He says everything is ok and he is simply tired...which I have NO doubt of, but it seems like SOMETHING is bothering him.
As for me, I am really wrestling with God right now. I am struggling to not worry, and to trust. Money is tight, and though Drew is getting paid more than the two of us were in combination before the Academy, there was about 2 months of hardly any income, and we are having SO much trouble catching up. We are still pouring money into supply expenses for the Academy, gas is expensive, as is food. I know that God has His purpose for me to be in the home, for now anyway. And that may seem ridiculous, and financially irresponsible. But, I feel that what God was leading me toward a month ago, still applies. Every time I work the budget, pay a bill, or look at our bank account, I freak out. Getting paid ONCE a month is a LONG agonizing stretch to draw income out over. Every time, I stress and start thinking, I have to get a job, I need a job. The second I do, I feel that nudge, reminding me that working is not in God's plan for me right now. I feel ridiculous saying that, it would be so easy to say "Well, you would be happy to not be working, you just want to not be working", BUT REALLY, I am struggling with this. I am having a really hard time letting go of the desire to increase our income. Though we are hardly getting by, perhaps God is breaking me of some form of greed, selfishness, or independance. I'm not sure. But I am REALLY struggling right now.
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