ugh...

...i hate what stress does to us...what money does to us (or the lack-there-of)...

thanks to D's part-time job, and the amount of money we were able to get paid out when the heaven's came crashing in january...we've survived- comfortable and tightly- for the last eight months...i'm quite pleased with that, particularly since there aren't jobs to be had and nothing either D or I have tried has panned out (plus he still haven't started the backgrounds for NV yet...)

but, now...we are finally at that point...the savings is gone...the payouts have been paid-out...my store is still in it's beginning stages, and while i have made quite a few sales (thank you to all of you who have supported us by shopping and spreading the word) it still isn't a consistent source of income...i love it, and it is pretty much a full time job (especially if i am expected to be a wife and keep up the house and laundry and feed my husband)...so now...i'm facing attempting to find a job...again...and i don't know about everywhere else, but around here things aren't getting better...more and more businesses are going out...

we have experienced our share of extremely tight financial times in our four years of marriage...and it's starting again. tension, stress, worry, anxiety, edginess with eachother...not good...we've been praying fervently for God to provide and to direct us. and He has been so faithful and has provided in amazing ways thus far...WE'VE SURVIVED OFF OF ONE PART-TIME JOB FOR NINE MONTHS...but, I don't see much in sight...we were hoping to at least have some sort of answer for Nevada by now so we could at least plan on pushing through to january...but we haven't heard anything, and they are backlogged on backgrounds, so we don't know when we will start that stage...other agency applications D has sent in and tested for have been for one or maybe two positions and with the overwhelming responses of unemployed law-enforcement, his have fallen through...

on top of all this, we've been without health insurance for the last eight months...which, shouldn't be that big of a deal because we were without it for about two years of marriage in the first place, but we were finally attempting to be active...check out things D was concerned about, get me in regularly to the same physician and attempt to solve the infertility mystery...and in the midst of all of that it stopped...and we'll have to start all over again (if and when we can afford it again).

slimming down bills at this point means getting rid of internet (which is a necessity at this point), tv (which is not a necessity but we've done without it before and D goes crazy), and our phones (which is also a necessity)...so, i feel stuck...that horrible shadow that looms constantly, which we thought we had rid ourselves of, has returned...

Lord, give us peace and wisdom and understanding and patience...and please Lord provide for us and open doors...

another written exam

well...the hubbs just left to go take another written exam. this one is for a sherrif's department. i was thinking about how routine this is becoming (which is bazaar)...and began to think about how long ago his first written test was: august 2007! and the fact that he graduated an academy a year and a half ago! AND it has already been five months since that all ended. time flies...

and here we are again...he's through all the testing for the highway patrol position in nevada, his 60 paged background packet has been received and we are waiting to hear from an investigator. and we are starting the process with another agency as well.

God is amazing. He has provided...He has carried us through. everyone says the first year of marriage is the hardest...not for us. our marriage has been great, but LIFE during our marriage has been hardest the past three years...I'd be willing to say our first year was the easiest so far.

and we have somehow survived, somewhat comfortably, since the devastation in january...we are half way through the year...and we are moving towards potentially openned doors. when nevada first contacted drew, it seemed like waiting until next january to begin the academy was way too far out, and we would never survive that long...here we are and january (surprisingly) seems like it is approaching fast, particularly when we are budgeting our monthly expenses and we feel comfortable at least until october...there aren't many months between there!

praise the Lord for His provisions, for carrying us through seemingly unsurmountable obstacles...and giving us some peace while we wait for His timing.

God continues to amaze me...

He really does...and He continues to remind me that He is right here, next to me...and that regardless of the current situation, HE is ultimately in control.

Well, about 10 minutes ago, I was about to "blog"...you know, the typical journalling blog that allows me to release my greivances on (most likely) no one, but just so it is "out there" and not in my head. I was about to go on about my current emotional state, the little things that have been eating away at me of late, and how I think life "could have been". (Which, of course, I believe God is in control and knows the outcome though my pea-sized mind can't possibly think of what the future may hold).

WELL! Here He is again, tapping me on the shoulder...reminding me that though I'm absorbed in my pitiful self - He never left. In a random moment, I checked the hubbs' email to see if anythign we had recently mailed had been received and if somehow we already had a response. And we did. Mr. D passed the application phase with Placer County. Due to his past experience, gets to skip the physical, and is currently scheduled for the written exam (though if we submit his scores from his academy they could substitute for that test as well). Praise the Lord. We now are walking through a narrow hallway (which seems to be widening with a little more breathing room), towards TWO open doors...and we will just see which one remains open and is the one He has for us to enter.

~ "Only You fill my soul!" ~

Here We Go Again...

Well, here we go again...with a few things...

This is my attempt (again) to get a blog that is like a journal for me going. I was using "square space" before (well a year ago), but it charges you monthly. So, finally I sat myself down and transfered EVERYTHING over...because, of course, the file was not compatible to just transfer my blog to Blogger...

It is absolutely crazy to read those old posts, the majority of which are from when D was at the CHP Academy. My last entry was nearly exact to being a year ago, and he was finishing break-in with the CHP. It is amazing what God did, and to be reminded of it all, and what He brought us through.

So, here's my other "here-we-go-again"...we submitted the 30 page background packet, plus about 30 pages of documents, for the Nevada highway patrol yesterday. D has sent out quite a few applications, but due to the current hiring situation everywhere, we really haven't heard back from anyone. Nevada we heard from in March...he has passed the physical, written, and interview, and the background packet is on it's way. So, hopefully we will hear from a background investigator within the next 6-8 weeks. We are really getting excited for this new opportunity. But, we are praying hard that whatever we are led to next God will have us there long term!

We are leaning on Him alot...finances are back to what they were in my old posts...I have submitted over 100 applications since February...and am currently still looking for work. But we know, as He has proved to us before...we are in His hands.

Well, life is changing so much...I really do need to try to keep track of these things...hopefully I'll be more faithful to "blogging"...

...it's been a while...

I'm amazed at how long it's been since I've maintained this thing. I'm sure no one even bothers to check it anymore! My journaling energy, while Drew was going through the Academy, was redirected toward journaling TO Drew at the Academy. So I'll try to catch us up here...and leave alot of details out I'm sure.

Well apparently we were only about half way through the Academy when my logs trailed off the map. So much has happened since then! We've done alot of living in the last 5 months! Drew graduated the California Highway Patrol Academy on January 23rd, 2009 The month of January was very full, and we were so full from the support of our families and by God's provisions! I can't even begin to fit into words, how real and active the God we serve is! Christ Jesus is alive and moving and He has made Himself more clear to us through this huge "process" that we have been pushing through than I believe either of us have EVER experienced before! Through the perfect timing of necessary plans falling into place, to the financial provisions that He has made so clear is in control of, to His good and perfect timing of when and how to affirm Drew.

God is Good! All the Time!
Graduation was amazing, a very overwhelming experience of emotions and the most real feeling of "commencement" that I have ever felt. Drew and I both were so over-come by this feeling of the ending of something that was so strange and foreign, but had become our everyday life...to the beginning of a whole new life, new life-style, and a whole NEW strange and foreign thing! The support of my family at my parents house after graduation (thank you for everyone who came and supported my husband) was overwhelming. It was a feeling that I truely cannot express in words. I was so humbled also, my husband...this man I love...just worked for SIX MONTHS really without a break to conquer not only himself but the "newly-wed" rut we were in. And he did it for us, for me...how amazing that man of mine is, and how amazing that God saw fit to bless me with him. We got married and had fun, worked hard, and were getting no where...my husband was discouraged that he wasn't being the 'provider' he felt he should be. Now look at us! I'm not saying that we are sitting pretty, or that my closet is full of new clothes...FAR FROM IT! But, God has provided everything...He allowed me to lose my job just before the Academy-as catastrophic as that sounds, we wouldn't have made it through the Academy if I had been working!!! Now, finally an Officer, my husband is able to provide for us (even in the higher living expense bracket we are in now), and we are more comfortable than I remember being since we've been married. Praise the Lord!

The day after graduation, we packed up my dad's truck and trailer (breaking both of our parents and siblings bodies in the process), loaded that thing to the point of being a LOW RIDER...and left for Southern California the very next day. That's right, another "only God knew the plan" situation. We move to Rocklin to move potentially permanently, one month after getting up there Drew applies to the CHP, a year later he's living at the Academy in Sacramento (life would have been rough if I'd still been living in Murrieta), and six months later we are moving back down to Orange County! OYE!
Whew! Our house is becoming more like home, we are getting more and more used to being "locals" in a beach community (not that it took alot of adjusting). And my husband is still working his little bottom off for us. But again, thank you Lord for freeing up my schedule...it seems ridiculous that I am not getting a job right away, but for one thing- why push it if it's not necessary? And right now, it's not necessary. Plus, Drew is changing schedules every couple weeks...for a month he was gone from 11am to 12-1am...now for the next month he's gone from 6pm to 6-7am! If I worked, we would never see eachother, he would not sleep (he doesn't sleep well without me there particularly during the day) and our "days off" would most likely be very lonely ones! Thank you Lord, again!!!

Another PRAISE BE TO GOD, my husband feels 'comfortable' with himself, the career he's in, and the money he's making. This has helped his ego a bit I'd say! And he comes home, talks about his shift and says "I love my job!" Wow, breath of fresh air!

We are currently on graveyards, which is proving not as difficult as we thought, but in a couple weeks when he has six straight days, we'll see! Drew is on phase two of three during 'break-in' and time is flying!!! We've been here almost two months now. The Lord has blessed us abundantly with our living situation, with our LOCATION, with the office, with the FTO's (field training officers) Drew's had, and we are so humbled by what God has been showing us.

CHP ~ Day 49

Today, Matt called me to hang out :) my brother loves me. We ended up going to lunch with Drew and Jilly, I don't get to see Drew that often...so it was nice to have some time with them and visit.
Matt and I ran into an old family friend when we were leaving...Rick Solomon is a friend of my parents, and his family was one of the one that did all the couples Bible study camping trips with our family and others for YEARS...I don't think I've seen him in over 6-7 years myself. He didn't recognize Matt or I. We realized though, how tough the economy is and how hard finances are when someone you haven't seen in that long offers all the information he did. And it really makde Matt put the amount of work my dad has been able to get lately into perspective (Rick is an electrical contractor also), and it made me very gratefully that Drew got into the CHP Academy and we have that as a steady job instead of construction right now (no matter how much Drew may miss electrical). And it helped calm me, because I realized that everyne's struggling and most people are a little behind right now...I didn't feel so alone in that any more :)

I came back home and started the project that I attempted to start last night, before Drew called me and said he had liberty. I've been "filing" and attempting to organize all the CHP paperwork, and also organize any receipts and whatnot that are going to be tax write offs...I had a HORENDOUS time of figuring out my taxes last year because I hadn't separated those receipts. And, we are going to have a decent amount this year! All the money we have poured into the CHP thus far can be written off...which is really going to help.

Anywho, Drew sounded really good when he called this evening. He was fitted for his official Officer uniform tonight, EXCITING! And really strange that we are that far into the Academy! The senior cadets only have about 2 or 3 weeks left!!! then the newbees come in...time is going by reasonably fast, as a whole :) He also cleaned his gun today (and was very excited about it!) He is really enjoying range because it is so hands on...and that is definitely how his brain works! He also had that Spanish quiz today (not a major test yet) that he was concerned about, he says he has a good accent but has trouble understanding other people (since the language is spoken so fast) and he has a mental block at the moment trying to remember the words. But, he said he only missed 2 or 3 questions...so that's a blessing!!!

It sounds like tomorrow Drew only has two classes aside from PT in the morning...just four hours of his range class and then his accident investigation class. BUT! He'll be home tomorrow night!

CHP ~ Day 48

Today I worked on cleaning the house since we are having company this weekend...DEd and Sherri are coming up to spend time with Drew for his brithday. And began to organize my filing system. I've accumulated a few piles of junk that I've needed to go through, PLUS the amount of paperwork we have received from the Academy and benefits...AND everything we have receipts for that has been purchased for the CHP...I've been needing to organize for taxes and whatnot...So, that's always a huge undertaking!

Drew had an ok day today. A little good and a little bad. PT this morning was rough, and a few individuals from the other company think he's the reason for it if they have a rough workout in the mornings. So, that's a little discouraging... BUT!!! He passed SKID PAN, first attempt! PRAISE THE LORD!!! He also received a test score from the beginning of the week, passed...woo hoo...(that doesn't mean it was barely passing, that just means he didn't remember what the score was when he told me) :)

He received his bonus check today, just barely enough to cover a bill I need to pay, PRAISE GOD for that as well! I think we should have enough to cover our gas for the next week until his paycheck comes. So, I went down to pick up his check and ...sort of... helped him study for his Spanish (I'm so bad, I don't know how I could have been helping him). But, I went down a little late, so he was able to get all of his other work, boot shining, and uniform prep done for tomorrow before I got down there.

THANK YOU LORD, for continuing to work and provide for us, even when we become impatient or begin to doubt.

CHP ~ Day 46

Today I went to drop my mom's car off at the dealership with her, we sat at Starbucks and waited while they were fixing her automatic locks...and we chit-chatted a while. After we picked the car up we headed back into Roseville to run some errands, and Matt called me...he got the apartment he applied for! WooHoo! So, he moves in tomorrow...SO! Mom and I went shopping for some necessity items and whatnot for him. And then we met him and Daddy for lunch. Apparently this is a huge relief to Matt, he had made himself sick worrying about whether their application would go through on this one. (They tried a low income complex and were denied).

So, I am spending the night in Auburn tonight, I've been helping Matt pack up his stuff...which is very strange. My dad has been kinda mopey...he's sad. But, I'm excited he's finally getting out and is going to be commited to a lease (unlike some of the other plans to move out would have led to), so he can't just change his mind in a week. It'll be a real growing up experience for him.

Drew had a good day today. Nothing much in particular...just lots of classes. He said that he only had one PT this morning (PRAISE THE LORD), because the seniors were not up to par apparently and they stayed later. So, he actually had time to shower and breathe before breakfast. He sounded really good today. And, evidently, his roommate didn't get back from the hospital until about 1:00am this morning and was sent back out today, and was gone most of the day (for that weird thing on his hip)...it sounds like they are trying to get shots into it, but it's not responding...at first Drew said staff infection, but his roommate corrected him (and I didn't recognize the other word he said :) ). So, that's exciting...??? HA!

Drew's excited for tomorrow...no PT, but PMA in the morning and afternoon, and he has FOUR hours of range tomorrow!!! So, that should be fun :) He found out that he has Wednesday night off (PRAISE THE LORD), but we think he's going to stay at the Academy to save gas and so he can study for his Spanish test on Thursday. (Unless he gets his bonus check, then of course I'd go get it, hahaha!)

Grandma Mosburg shared an encouraging vision that God granted her this week...she was praying for Drew and God was showing her that Drew is under construction. She saw him as a building under construction, which God as the supports and scaffolding. And her words to me, which she felt God was saying to her, were "there's NO way he is not going to make it through this process!" Well, if those aren't powerful words, I don't know what are...she said that God is his support system, and all the situations he's coming up against are there to grow and build him up. I of course believe this, but it is so reassuring that God is affirming that in the minds of others who are praying for Drew as well, not just me.

A Third DONE! Week 10 Starts Tomorrow!

Well, this weekend OFFICIALLY marked the ONE THIRD point of our journey through the CHP Academy. WOO HOO!!!

I prayed most of the way home for peace, strength, and that his brain would be a sponge to all the new information he's going to learn this week in all his new classes that he started last week (really the bulk of his core classes during the Academy). And, that he would be released from his double PT duties, and to have some reassurance that he is giving his 100% in everything.

Drew's day on Friday went alright, he got another test score back which he passed, and his company won the drill competition on Friday morning! Praise the Lord. That officially frees up about an hour of time on Tuesday nights (all other companies have to polish all brass on the Academy grounds for the memorial ceremonies held every Wednesday night for fallen Officers), and up until this point all three companies were having their Tuesday nights cut into by that. And they also get one additional liberty evening of their choice as a reward. Which means that the company can decide on a night other than Wednesday nights on a given week to take one extra liberty evening (and it can't be taken away by restrictions). So, that's exciting too.

Drew only had his training table menu and some studying to do this weekend. That is a huge blessing. He brought his gun belt home...He now has his belt, his duty belt, all the straps that hold those two belts together, his handcuffs and case, his gun and holster, his magazines and two holders, his baton and ring, his pepper spray holder, and his radio and radio attachment for his belt. So, he's starting to look pretty put together :D He started his range classes last week, with rules and how to break down and re-assemble his gun. Tomorrow, he gets to actually start out on the range :)

It was so nice to have him home, to relax Friday night...be productive on Saturday and go to church in the evening...and then be able to relax and spend some more time together this afternoon. And next weekend, Ed and Sherri will be here, that will be very fun...we're excited to see them, and I think Drew is excited to see people. Everyone seems to avoid us, which yes...when he has stuff to do we are very UNavailable, but he likes to break up the routine of the Academy by seeing other people...it makes him feel like he's in the real world, not still stuck in the Academy mode.

He was having a really hard time going back tonight...he said the weekend seemed like it went really fast and he just wanted one more day. But once we got back there, he was ready to get going again. One of his roommates was asleep and the other was sent to the hospital...HA! Ok, it's not that serious...Drew was telling me that last week his roommate got an "ingrown hair" on his hip from beginning to wear his gun belt. Well, by Friday it was the size of his hip, and a huge lump...and it looked like a growth...Drew said it looked like gangreen! Well, he was going to go to the doctor's this weekend, but there was too much of a wait...so he came back tonight, and showed the staff office when he checked in. Drew said it's not swollen anymore, but it looks like there's a hole in his leg...like the pressure finally blew it out...and it's a big open red sore on the side of his hip...so, he was sent to the hospital before his blood could circulate it anymore in case it's a virus or something!!! EEEWWW!!! Drew said it's disgusting...Hopefully, it's not catching :)

CHP ~ Day 44

Oye, I finally just talked to Drew...10:45...fifteen minutes until lights out. I think it amounts to the hardest evening for me to get off the phone. I think he had a late class tonight, which means he probably wasn't done with his day until about 8:30ish, (I only talked to him for less than 5 minutes)...and he did all his written work, which it sounds like there was alot, in a classroom. I was starting to worry about him at about 9:30 so I called and left a message on his phone. And I called him at 10:45 for a last try and to say goodnight, and he thankfully had just gotten back to his room. However, he isn't done with his work, so he is going to work in the bathroom for a while, and then get up early and work on some more then. Which basically means he's going to get 2-3 hours of sleep tonight! He sounds tired, and a little overwhelmed, and they drilled alot today because there is a drill competition of some sort tomorrow.

PRAISE THE LORD HE COMES HOME TOMORROW!!! I'm so worried about him. About his exhaustion, and his hunger, and his stress, and the persecution from all sides. I'm praying HARD that tomorrow is a smooth day, and that his company is outstanding in the competition, and that Drew plays a part in that positively, and that he gets a restful 2-3 hours of sleep, and that God would fill his stomach, and that his work would get done efficiently and quickly. I kept asking him if he was ok, and it was a simple, ya don't worry about me...but I am...and apparently I'm OVERLY emotional from this week. I just started balling when we got off the phone. I feel emotionally and mentally stretched to my limit...beyond the extent of my malability...to my breaking point...I'm afraid I'm going to cry when I see him tomorrow...

All week long I've really felt like the weeks are actually feeling longer and getting harder as we get deeper into this process, for me as well as Drew. It's harder to get off the phone, it's harder to drop him off each time, it's harder to think about what he's gone through throughout the day...I know it's a necessary and temporary evil...and it's going to lead to amazing things, and I'm SO proud of him...but it's finally hitting me (took long enough).

LORD GIVE HIM PEACE, FILL HIM AND SURROUND HIM!!!

CHP ~ Day 43

Well, today was eventful. Heh, I guess that's one way to put it!

I wasn't doing much this morning, I couldn't sleep last night so I was up until 3am once again, so OF COURSE I slept in. My mom called me and we went out to lunch a visited for a bit. And then, my sister came over for a little while after her French class. We were venting about life and visiting for quite a few hours...it's times like that which make me feel close to her, not quite so distanced. :)
I was getting some sandwiches and stuff ready, and shortly after Rachel left, I left to pick up Drew. I ran by the bank and then the gas station first, and I got a call from Drew (as I usually do on Wednesdays to let me know he's done for the day). But, he sounded wretched, and said don't come I'm on restriction...I'll explain to you later if I have time...pray for me. Well, if that's not the most gutt wrenching thing to hear suddenly. So, I called Sherri and my mom to give them updates and have them be praying as well. The only thing I could assume was that he had really bad test scores on the two EVOC written tests he took Monday (which he felt unsure about).

My mom ended up picking me up and driving me up to Auburn to spend the evening with them (get my mind off of stressing). We went to dinner, THE WHOLE FAMILY...amazing! :) And when we got back, I made some banana bread for Drew. He called me at about 9:45 ish.

Apparently, within the last few days (I'm not sure when) all of the cadets in his class filled out a cadet evaluation form, listing their top 3 and bottom 3 cadets (in their opinion). The results were back today, and Drew was in the bottom 3 for 95 of the cadets (about 50% of the class). Which meant he spent a class period being lectured about the issues brought forth by the survey's and that they've never had anyone have so many negatives! There were a few officers in there and the sergant "discussing" with him...and it was immediately after that when he called me -- NO WONDER he sounded so aweful!!! He had to write a 3 page memo on what he wants out of the Academy, what he can do to better himself, and what he can do to try harder. After a certain amount of time, one of the officers came in and read over what he had and shared with him how he can get the most of his Academy experience, and also out of this career, and how he can make a bigger impression that he is working hard. I think that encouraged him a little, but it is still very disheartening to hear that all your hard work is going unnoticed, and quite the opposite...that "he doesn't give 100%".

Well, he called me after he did some homework to say goodnight (around 11:20). He told me that the rest of his day was rough also. A certain officer that was hard on him the first few weeks, had been on vacation for a while and came back today...so that made PT wonderful...and he lost a blue card there for "giving only 50%". He lost another blue card for being late to drill...because he is still on double PT, he is late to catch back up with his company. On a lighter note, he received the test scores from the two Monday tests that he was concerned about, and he received an 80% and a 90%!!! PRAISE GOD!!!

I am now fervently praying that God would release him from his double PT duties. That would keep him on schedule with his company, he would not have a second round of it while others are fresh and on their first, and it would just be one less thing to worry about!!!

CHP ~ Day 42

Today was slow...Drew sounds like his day was slow also.
He had an evening class, so he didn't call me until LATE, but his day seemed to go by alright. But, he's not being completely open. It seems as though he's holding something back. He says everything is ok and he is simply tired...which I have NO doubt of, but it seems like SOMETHING is bothering him.
As for me, I am really wrestling with God right now. I am struggling to not worry, and to trust. Money is tight, and though Drew is getting paid more than the two of us were in combination before the Academy, there was about 2 months of hardly any income, and we are having SO much trouble catching up. We are still pouring money into supply expenses for the Academy, gas is expensive, as is food. I know that God has His purpose for me to be in the home, for now anyway. And that may seem ridiculous, and financially irresponsible. But, I feel that what God was leading me toward a month ago, still applies. Every time I work the budget, pay a bill, or look at our bank account, I freak out. Getting paid ONCE a month is a LONG agonizing stretch to draw income out over. Every time, I stress and start thinking, I have to get a job, I need a job. The second I do, I feel that nudge, reminding me that working is not in God's plan for me right now. I feel ridiculous saying that, it would be so easy to say "Well, you would be happy to not be working, you just want to not be working", BUT REALLY, I am struggling with this. I am having a really hard time letting go of the desire to increase our income. Though we are hardly getting by, perhaps God is breaking me of some form of greed, selfishness, or independance. I'm not sure. But I am REALLY struggling right now.

CHP ~ Day 41

Well, today I spent the majority of the day praying and compiling some encouraging thoughts for our friends who are dealing with some speed bumps. Praying that God would speak the words on the page and that He would use them to pour our love, support and encouragement for them.

Drew had a rough morning it sounds...the PT staff (of course) was picking on him this morning...it is Monday after all. He was put in the back against the wall holding a shotgun straight out again. He started quite a few new classes today also. So, it sounds like it was a long day anyway. He sounds REALLY tired, but his first words to me when I answered the phone were "I'm playing with my gun!" HAHAHA! Well, he was able to open and unpack all the items in his "range bag" that he received on Friday, and today since he got his gun and whatnot today...he was able to unpack and start polishing everything. He told me that he finally feels like he looks cool in his full ensemble! HA! He now has the gun belt, which means he has the correct belt so he is able to start wearing his holster and radio and many other attachments. SO, finally he looks more like a police officer than rent-a-cop :D HAHAHA!!!!

Weekend Eight...Moving Right Along...

Yeah! Drew's home for the weekend, finally...he got some more test scores back yesterday! He believes it was his final for the Crimes Against Children class, an 88%! WooHoo! And he got his range bag yesterday also...with his gun belt, etc in it! So, that means he gets his gun on probably Monday, and starts range either Tuesday or Wednesday!!! He's already at that point!!!

It's nice to have him home, I feel very heavy hearted right now...and I'm not sure why. I don't know if it's stress or the occassional meloncholy spurts I get once in a while...but it's nice to have him here.

We received some sad news today about a couple that is VERY near and dear to our hearts, and has had such an influence on us as we were dating and preparing to get married. They are struggling, and their situation has been on my mind and heart all morning and I feel so disturbed by it. I've been praying about it most of the morning, and wishing we lived closer to them so we could be there to love on and support them. God started showing me a few things that relate to this situation: one thing which I find is interesting- is that my cousin and I were talking about relationships and God spoke through her that I was supposed to pray for relationships (this was only TWO DAYS AGO), and the other is something that I heard a couple weeks ago- I believe I have an entry about it on Tuesday three weeks ago, that at RHOP our Pastor was discussing three Christian leaders who are currently in the midst of scandal and having issues with their relationships and their positions of leadership in His church. Pastor Francis was sharing that Satan is really actively moving right now , to seek, kill, and destroy God's church! And that leaders are being attacked and struggling in so many ways right now. After we all prayed that day, I realized how many leaders in our own church were struggling (with depression mostly), but still doubting themselves. Now we have news of people who are SO much closer to home to Drew and I, and SO dear to us...and they are going through a trial right now as well. All of this solidifying what Jill spoke to me on Thursday.

LORD, BLESS AND KEEP THESE FRIENDS! LORD, GUIDE AND PROTECT THIS FAMILY! KEEP THEM FROM HARM, SURROUND THEM WITH YOUR GUARDIAN ANGELS, AND KEEPT HEM FROM SATAN AND HIS ATTEMPTS TO DISTROY!

CHP ~ Day 39

I had a pretty good day today...hung out with Jilly. We ran some errands and went shopping...it's so nice being so near them :) I even saw my brother :) he was hanging out with Andrew. Jilly and I were talking about lots of stuff and she spoke a word to me...that she feels that God wants me to pray for relationships...because of things that I have dealt with in life through relationships and whatnot. And I thought that was very interesting, I hadn't seen those things from that perspective before...and it relates to my call to JUSTICE prayer also. JUSTICE is generally regarding the value of human life...but the topics involved are VERY relational! (abortion, pornography, homosexuality, sex industry, etc...)

Drew didn't call me until LATE tonight...about 9ish...I think Tuesday really made him realize how much work he can get done if he doesn't try to do it in his room! He was doing his written work (his training table menu, and another report form) in a classroom tonight, and he called me while polishing his boots, and he got to bed around 10! PRAISE THE LORD! So, that's positive, He got another test score back today...A second version of his Radio codes test that he took a couple weeks ago, and he got an 88% on that! PRAISE YOU LORD FOR THE AMAZING RESULTS OF DREW'S TESTS SCORES THROUGHOUT HIS TIME AT THE ACADEMY, AND ALLOWING HIS STUDYING TO PAY OFF!!!

CHP ~ Day 38

Drew had his liberty today, so I ran some errands this afternoon, and went to go pick him up. HA! I have had such a hard time (jokingly) from the Officers when I try to get through the gate :D Most often they just wave me through when they see my sign (rather, a big yellow piece of paper with Drew's info and our license plate # on it)...but there have been a few times- like today I was told that he was on restriction, and I could only pick him up if I fed him heaping amounts of gravy for dinner! I have been asked codes, I was kinda joked about whether I was allowed to come in once and then he laughed and asked how we were doing with the process...they're funny!!! I must be wearing a sign that says easy target!!!

Anywho, I brought Drew sub sandwiches from our favorite sandwich shop in Roseville...Lenny's SO GOOD! We drove over to old town Sacramento and sat on a picnic bench and ate, then walked over to an ice cream shop and got ice cream cones :) We wandered around for a while (it's weird how empty that place is in the middle of the week!) And he was ready to go back yet, so we headed over to IKEA and walked around there for a while (and he got a cinnamon roll and ANOTHER Mountain Dew), he broke his whole diet in this ONE evening of liberty!) But it was fun, it felt like a date, we were alone most of the time, which was nice because we usually end up in a noisy crowded restaurant.

He had a good day...the test score from his big vehicle code test on Monday was a 90%!!! WooHoo! And he found out he gets his gun next week and they start out on the range...Time Must Be Flying!

CHP ~ Day 37

Well, today I was feeling pretty crudy still, I was pretty lazy...BUT, I feel completely exhausted because I worked on the budget for the next 3 months. NOTHING is more exhausting than dealing with money...I HATE IT! But, oh well, it has to be done...and since Im a housewife now, it's REALLY my job with no excuses :)

Drew had a late class (so he was awake at 3:30 and his day ended around 8:15) and alot of written homework tonight, so I hardly talked to him at all this evening. But, it sounds like his day went alright. He does sound tired and is happy to be getting his Wednesday liberty tomorrow night. I'm going to bring him sandwiches from our favorite sub-shop and I think we might walk around old town Sacramento.

Something exciting though...he decided to do his homework in the "lounge" type area (his roommates went to bed around 9!!!) and, he had the opportunity to encourage a guy who is having a rough time. Drew was excited too, because he thought he heard him singing some Christian music, so this may be the first Christian guy he's met there (they really have NO time to socialize, so unless you're roommates- chances are you aren't going to get too friendly with too many other guys). This other Cadet is having a rough time with his roommates, and with his fiance (or ex-fiance I guess). Drew was able to relate to the roommate situation and encourage him there, and tried to encourage him to be motivated to stick with the Academy (not that he's necessarily thinking of quitting, he's just having a challenging time of it right now).

From what I understand, his fiance feels that he is not giving her enough attention right now (HE'S AT THE ACADEMY!), so she called off the wedding. That's really rough...the Officer's PLAINLY state to all friends and family that the strongest reason for quitting the Academy is because of the support group at home...it can make or break you. The time at the Acadmey has to be completely devoted to the Academy and the families have to encourage that despite any emotional feelings. I have had to be somewhat abrasive in encouraging Drew at times even though I've wanted to cry and tell him I want him here. But you CAN'T do that!!! No matter what is going on at home, all of that needs to be suppressed so that your Cadet can focus on the Academy and not feel that he needs to quit and go home. It's not an easy process to get through to become a CHP Cadet, and not many make it this far...and you are only there for SIX months, which is the starting point of a solid 30 YEAR career! With great benefits, security, and many job options! I can understand feeling alone (especially if you were planning something as significant as a wedding by yourself), but those feelings could make or break the career of that loved one...and there is PLENTY of warning before you get yourself into 1/4 of the way through the training process. So, luckily, Drew was able to encourage him, and hopefully (if Drew's feeling is correct) this will give Drew a fellow Christian to turn to in his tough times also.

CHP ~ Day 36

Well, today I didn't do much...feeling a little sick and weak and tired...

Drew had a pretty good day, for a Monday...the one class he had the report due in, he is going to be able to make up the report because he spoke with the intructor about how he was REALLY supposed to write it. He had his big codes test that he was putting notes together for, and he feels pretty good about it, PRAISE GOD. He sounds tired, but it sounded like a typical pretty smooth flowing day, which is very positive.

He bought a new hat today...it is incredible, when new their Cadet caps are BLUE, dark blue. And after a month in the sun, it is BROWN, just faded...no stains, and aside from the stitching there's no proof the fabric of the hat was EVER blue! So, he got another one of those to go on his knoggin.

AND it sounds like Ed and Sherri are coming up at the end of the month, so that will be a nice visit for Drew. I've been researching the nearby hotels for them today... :)

Our 7th Weekend Comes to a Close...20 Weeks Left

Well, PRAISE THE LORD...Drew survived Friday. As it turns out he did not end up having to do all three PT's again on Friday, because he would have missed his run. So, he did his usual two which was a blessing because he didn't think he was going to be able to survive a third, his arms were just too worn out. He DID have his first in car experience at EVOC!!! And he said that it made the first 7 weeks, no matter how hard they were, completely worth it! He passed all the test that they were given the first day: such as straight backing at 40mph and hand over hand turning, etc...The instructors came out in Camaros and were sliding past them...He was VERY hyped on that experience :D

However, due to his EVOC class he missed the first day of another class (report writing), which everyone is going to miss a class at some point as they cycle everyone through. But he needed to depend on another Cadet to collect handouts for him and to write notes for him. When it came to writing the first report assignment this weekend, he had a sample of how to fill out the report form...but the actual written part that is your account of the incident, he really was not sure how he was supposed to put that together. So, we spent some time on that over the weekend...and he spent ALOT of time putting together notes and shortcuts for info on the vehicle codes that he could put into his book. He has a BIG vehicle codes test this week, and its open book and they can put the notes they are able to fit in the back pages of the book. So, hopefully he was able to get togther everything he needed.

It's exciting to see how far God has carried us through this process! All the blessings, all the answered prayers, all the support from our families, and how He has been growing each of us through this whole strange experience!

Drew wasn't able to relax too much this weekend because of all his work, but I fed him well!!! And we were able to get out and see my family for my mom's birthday (excuse me birth-MONTH)! That was fun.

The last couple weeks Drew has not had Wednesday liberties, so the last two weekends have been SO hard to drop him off, because I haven't seen him during the week, and it feels like the weekend is just ONE day too short! But here we are, beginning week EIGHT! AMAZING, two months down...four and a half to go! And PRAISE GOD, he called me after he checked back in and said that his name was not on the restrictions list, so it appears that he has Wednesday liberties this week. That will help the weekend come so much faster!

CHP ~ Day 34

I had another low key day today...cleaned, finished decorating with my pumpkin stuff :) and put all of that away...finished the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, made scones MMMM!!!!

Drew sounded EXHAUSTED tonight. He had a late class so he didn't call me until about 8:45. It was a rough day for him. He ended up with THREE PT classes this morning, whatever the reason they weren't happy with his performance and had three today and will have three tomorrow... :( There are three "companies" within his class, A, B, and C - because he was having difficulty with the push ups he was already indefinitely assigned to two PTs (he's in company A and has to stay and do PT again with company B)...so today and tomorrow, he's there for ALL THREE. He felt pretty confident with his batton handling for his PMA class, but only 16 out of the 200 in his class passed that today (not many usually pass on the first try)...so he was disappointed about that. Luckily, the test he had yesterday and the radio codes test today he feels pretty comfortable about. He asked me to wake up tomorrow morning at 5am and just start praying about the PT in the morning. He's so tired and he's not sure if his muscles are going to be able to hold up tomorrow morning...and then he has his first EVOC lesson tomorrow, and he needs to be able to focus on that.

He's so funny, he's been CRAVING Cheez-it's!!! And every time I talk to him, he brings up the fact that he NEEDS Cheez-it's!!! HA! Poor thing, PRAISE GOD we were able to go shopping last weekend, I have plenty of tasty food to pour into him this weekend, and I'm going to pamper as much as possible...and will be praying all night and all morning tomorrow...