Weekend Eight...Moving Right Along...

Yeah! Drew's home for the weekend, finally...he got some more test scores back yesterday! He believes it was his final for the Crimes Against Children class, an 88%! WooHoo! And he got his range bag yesterday also...with his gun belt, etc in it! So, that means he gets his gun on probably Monday, and starts range either Tuesday or Wednesday!!! He's already at that point!!!

It's nice to have him home, I feel very heavy hearted right now...and I'm not sure why. I don't know if it's stress or the occassional meloncholy spurts I get once in a while...but it's nice to have him here.

We received some sad news today about a couple that is VERY near and dear to our hearts, and has had such an influence on us as we were dating and preparing to get married. They are struggling, and their situation has been on my mind and heart all morning and I feel so disturbed by it. I've been praying about it most of the morning, and wishing we lived closer to them so we could be there to love on and support them. God started showing me a few things that relate to this situation: one thing which I find is interesting- is that my cousin and I were talking about relationships and God spoke through her that I was supposed to pray for relationships (this was only TWO DAYS AGO), and the other is something that I heard a couple weeks ago- I believe I have an entry about it on Tuesday three weeks ago, that at RHOP our Pastor was discussing three Christian leaders who are currently in the midst of scandal and having issues with their relationships and their positions of leadership in His church. Pastor Francis was sharing that Satan is really actively moving right now , to seek, kill, and destroy God's church! And that leaders are being attacked and struggling in so many ways right now. After we all prayed that day, I realized how many leaders in our own church were struggling (with depression mostly), but still doubting themselves. Now we have news of people who are SO much closer to home to Drew and I, and SO dear to us...and they are going through a trial right now as well. All of this solidifying what Jill spoke to me on Thursday.

LORD, BLESS AND KEEP THESE FRIENDS! LORD, GUIDE AND PROTECT THIS FAMILY! KEEP THEM FROM HARM, SURROUND THEM WITH YOUR GUARDIAN ANGELS, AND KEEPT HEM FROM SATAN AND HIS ATTEMPTS TO DISTROY!

CHP ~ Day 39

I had a pretty good day today...hung out with Jilly. We ran some errands and went shopping...it's so nice being so near them :) I even saw my brother :) he was hanging out with Andrew. Jilly and I were talking about lots of stuff and she spoke a word to me...that she feels that God wants me to pray for relationships...because of things that I have dealt with in life through relationships and whatnot. And I thought that was very interesting, I hadn't seen those things from that perspective before...and it relates to my call to JUSTICE prayer also. JUSTICE is generally regarding the value of human life...but the topics involved are VERY relational! (abortion, pornography, homosexuality, sex industry, etc...)

Drew didn't call me until LATE tonight...about 9ish...I think Tuesday really made him realize how much work he can get done if he doesn't try to do it in his room! He was doing his written work (his training table menu, and another report form) in a classroom tonight, and he called me while polishing his boots, and he got to bed around 10! PRAISE THE LORD! So, that's positive, He got another test score back today...A second version of his Radio codes test that he took a couple weeks ago, and he got an 88% on that! PRAISE YOU LORD FOR THE AMAZING RESULTS OF DREW'S TESTS SCORES THROUGHOUT HIS TIME AT THE ACADEMY, AND ALLOWING HIS STUDYING TO PAY OFF!!!

CHP ~ Day 33

Today I cleaned the kitchen, and pulled out my fall decorations...I LOVE HAVING PUMPKINS EVERYWHERE! Ha!

SO!!! I'm so appauled...I know I have commented before on the M&M's commercial, that yes is humorous in it's own way...but completely promotes sex through household name animated CANDIES...well, I saw a LEVI's commercial today...UGH! It's two teenagers (look really young), standing on the end of a pier, they were asking eachother if it was their first time, are you scared, do you trust me? Different things like that...the two KIDS, continue by unbuttoning their 5 button fly jeans (slowly of course) and exposing their underwear...finally they jump off the pier in bra, panties, and boxers...but HONESTLY!!! I'm just APPAULED!!! Another thing selling sex and devaluing the VALUE of life by turning it all toward SEX and that LUST is the desire we need to fullfill. And apparently we like using CARTOON CANDIES...and KIDS THAT LOOK 13 or 14 to sell it...

Drew sounds like he had a decent day...his Wednesday night restrictions tonight was to do an extra PMA class (Physical Methods of Arrest). But, he said that was actually really helpful! He has a test on using his batton tomorrow, the correct way to handle and whatnot. He does have a few tests tomorrow and then EVOC Friday...So, he'll have quite a lot to talk about on Friday when I pick him up :D But, today's test sounds like it went well. They said he was allowed to miss around 13 questions and still pass...and he thinks he missed maybe 5! So, PRAISE GOD for that... :D

CHP ~ Day 32

Went to RHOP today...I sat outside during it, which was very private and relaxing. It was a BEAUTIFUL sunny day, the sky was very blue, and the grass outside the church was very green...a very serene setting. The speakers outside the building make it so that you can hear the worship and prayer and whatever is going on inside...and our church has patio chairs and sofas under awnings out front...it was wonderful.

This morning as I was getting ready to head over to the church, I felt like God was putting my desire to be a mommy on my heart (the desire to be pregnant, the fact that we seemingly CAN'T get pregnant, and the issue of miscarrying). And suddenly I felt God saying that that is not what He has for me...maybe that's just for now, like right now is not the time for us to start a family (which I agree at the moment). I was really saddened all of a sudden, but then felt very calm. God has really led us exactly where He wants us and has been proving time and time again that His plans are not our plans. So, most of the way through RHOP, after I was done praying for JUSTICE and for those I pray for specifically, I started reading verses on barren women of the Bible. Sarah (in Hebrews 11, on faith) and Elizabeth (in Luke 1), both barren for years! Then God abundantly blessed their wombs and used their children in amazing ways. In Judges 13: even Samson's mother was barren. However, if that is not His will for me and my family...I also read verses that encouraged a spiritual family (like Mother Teresa)...that blessed is the barren woman:

"'Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,' says the Lord."
Isaiah 54:1

And God also sent me other encouraging verses such as:

"Praise the Lord! Praise, O servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord. Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised...He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; He seats them with princes, with the princes of their people. He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord."
Psalm 113:1-9

It is amazing that through spending time in prayer for others and for issues I am passionate about...that God is speaking words to me and working through MY situations as well.

I had lunch again at the VanTassell's with Steph and Jill, thank God for my family...they have been so wonderful to me through this stage of our lives!

I drove up to Auburn and spent the rest of the day up there. I painted in my dad's office while my mom worked on paperwork, and we chatted a little...spent some time with Daddy and Matt too, over dinner...AND I even saw Rachel!!! :D Heh, she was at work, but she had called me and said mom and I needed to get over there because she had a bunch of glasses and mugs that she was marking down! :D I bought some plastic glasses for Drew...he likes using plastic for some funky reason.
Drew had an alright day...he cramped up during his run this morning, and he sounds exhausted...I called Ed and Sherri on the way home (on speaker phone of course) and it sounds like they are going to try to come up at the end of this month! I'm excited to see them, and that Drew will have some company around his birthday.

CHP ~ Day 26

Today, I went to RHOP for a few hours...I really enjoyed it. The atmosphere there is just full of prayer, worship, and reverence...no distractions, God's presence always feels there in a powerful way! Everytime I go I'm moved, and God always speaks to me through a verse or a song.

I've been praying for Drew alot this evening, he stepped in a gopher hole today on his run... :( he said his ankle and up his shin a bit is really sore but not swollen. BUT, he's supposed to report it right away, and he doesn't feel like it's that serious...so he didn't...SO! hopefully it will be healed by tomorrow's PT.

My mom called and said that she talked to grandpa and grandma from our visit on Friday...and they told her about how Drew had gotten encouragement from Officers last week. She was SO excited to hear that...she told me that Aunt Candy and grandma Mosburg had both last week been praying that he would receive unlikely encouragement at the Academy...what an incredible answer to PRAYER!!!

CHP ~ Day 23

Today I went to RHOP again. Today God was revealing more things to me and showing me verses that affirm this calling. The two very specific one would be:


"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, and have been called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:28

"Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persever in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."
I Timothy 4:11-16


The reason these two seemed so inspirational is because the first is a verse from my Junior High. Calvary Chapel Christian School's mascot was the Conquerer, and this verse is from that passage used by that school. Random? Maybe to some...but to me it was God revealing another "puzzle piece" and where it fits in. I have heard that verse so many times and we memorized it...to the point where the meaning is gone and each time you read it you just read it like a memory verse. Today I READ that verse for the first time, and it took different meaning -- I feel that I am being called to His purpose for my life...and Drew and I are currently braving the storm of finances during this transition, and it is the first time I haven't worked since my first year of college!

The second verse had alot of the same meaning. The second sentance in verse eleven is another common verse that many people have memorized...but again, I READ this verse for the first time today...and God was truly reassuring me in this verse. That I may be young, what I am doing may seem silly or not make sense, and may not seem like the financially savvy thing to be doing at this stage of life. But to devote myself and not be discouraged. Also, the second portion is the reason for my starting this blog (and is at the bottom of every page of it)...To devote myself so that others can see what God is doing in my life! Not only to show people that I am growing in Him, but that He can do the same for anyone who trusts and seeks Him, and will reveal Himself to them as well.

I was so excited, I wrote Drew a letter and included the verses to encourage him in what God is doing in my life and for us.

I picked Drew up tonight and we headed to In-N-Out, he needed that apparently!!! The lack of flavor and substantial foods at the Academy makes him eat like a horse when he gets away! It was nice to visit for a little while though. After eating, he wasn't ready to go back so we wandered for a while through the massive IKEA that is across the freeway from the Academy...it's HUGE!!! It was nice to walk around the store and feel like a normal couple though for a little while :)

CHP ~ Day 22

I went to RHOP today. And I prayed for a while. It's weird...I feel so strange, I am still in the process of developing my prayer time, so I feel kinda scatter brained right now. But today, I was really trying to focus on praying for Drew and for my time I will be spending in the House of Prayer, and preparing my heart. I also started trying to decide how I wanted to separate my intercessorary topics throughout the week, and what days to focus on the different people that I pray for. As I was attempting to begin looking at verses (I bring my concordance with me)...God was really just revealing affirmation verses to me...about being called, etc...

I had seen Stephanie's car outside when I drove in and wanted to see if she was still there...so I went upstairs and she was in her office, I met the children's pastor Sarah (her office-mate), her husband is also in law-enforcement and she was just encouraging me to stick it out...Steph and I talked for a while about what God is stirring in my soul, and she was really excited and discussed with me and prayed for me. And she told me that these topics that I am focussing on are classified as JUSTICE intercession. Which is amazing that there is a classification...because that, for some reason, solidifies that this is an actual "topic" and an actual "issue"...and seemed to give me even more purpose having a title.

She asked me all sorts of questions about how life is while Drew's gone and whatnot. And really encouraged me to not feel alone, and to lean on her and Jill and the family I have nearby when I begin to feel like a recluse. We decided that we are going to visit and have lunch...her, Jill and I...every Tuesday after the Staff RHOP set. YAY!

CHP ~ Day 21

Today my mom came and took me to lunch...I told her about everything that God was revealing to me last night on the way home -- she's excited for me and thinks it's wonderful. We went to Home Depot and I helped her buy some pots and flowers for the backyard that she's relandscaping.

Drew called tonight, he received a 93% and a 100% on the two tests last week!!!...and that's NOT including his spelling tests (which he's been getting A's on)! He sounds tired...but I'm SO relieved! I told Ed and Sherri and they were ecstatic! It's been so wonderful to have such laid back in-laws that I can call and talk to and to vent to...and they have been so supportive...and they're SO proud of Drew!

Revelation

So, tonight, I dropped Drew off again. As usual, to calm myself and bless my husband as he starts his week...I prayed the WHOLE way home. I started praying (as usual) for peace and patience and endurance and wisdom for Drew. I then suddenly began reflecting on last nights sermon message which had really moved me, I was replaying alot of the main points in my head...my attention then began to focus on how the experience at RHOP last Wednesday was and how I really enjoyed that.

All of a sudden God began to reveal all sorts of things from throughout my life to me.

• how I have NEVER felt called to foreign missions (since Junior High I felt very strongly about that)
• how I am patriotic and feel that America is in JUST as bad of shape as anyone
• how my personality tends to turn inward and not gravitate toward other people
• how I have had a desire to be a prayer warrior since early High School
• how I feel about the abortion issue and how my worldview class in High School gave me ammunition to back my beliefs (and I have written a few reports on the issue of Pro-Life since)
• that since I heard about the issues of sex trade in Cambodia about 3 years ago, my heart has ached for those children
• how, as a girl, I feel the pressure of the media/entertainment/fashion industries of what "beauty" is
• that as a wife, who wants to be a mother, thinking about raising a Junior High or High Schooler in today's world, the burden of overcoming that is terrifying!...but I'm still young enough to relate and have my heart go out to them...
• how working in a secular environment has proven to me, the world has become so shockingly tolerant to issues such as pornography, prostitution, and masterbation...and how those issues are no longer taboo
• how the general issue of SEX has just become so common and bombards us at EVERY angle!

As I was going over all these points in my head and thinking about how through the course of my life a different issue has become something that I feel strongly about and now all of them are or were at one point: I had a revelation!!! Suddenly I realized, this is it! God has been gradually throuout my life revealing different issues to me to be passionate about and as I developed convictions about each one, and now hear a message involving ALL, and now feel I have a place to go and be silently in God's precense...OH! I am to be a prayer intercessor, at the Rock House of Prayer, for these issues and the value of life. And not until this point in my life could I have had the flexibility to do this. I am now unemployed, a stay at home wife here to be Drew's support...and an intercessor for the value of human life!!!

PRAISE GOD...I have never felt more sure of what my purpose is!

Weekend Four ~ Beginning of a Spiritual Journey!

We didn't do much today...Drew was able to relax alot, which he NEEDED!
Church tonight was great -- it really stirred me! It was on the value of human life, our series is "Christians Behaving Boldly". The topics discussed were sex, abortion, porn, prositution, false image, media/entertainment, STD's, and sex trade (specifically Cambodia). Very powerful...and ALL these things are issues that I have really had a heart for (or well, against I guess) when I've heard them discussed and hearing facts and information about them. So, everything I heard was something I'm pretty passionate about. And as I was listening to what the pastor was saying and how he believes that we all feel that these are all the "norm" but nothing will ever change if SOMEONE doesn't do SOMETHING. I really started praying that the people around the room who seemed to really be taking in what he was saying and really seemed motivated by what they were hearing, would NOT go home and watch a movie and become caloused. So often we hear messages like this, as Christians, and we feel powerfully moved to do something...but the second we leave the doors of the church, we have left that Spiritual passion and drive inside and seem to wak away from it. So, I was praying that God would reach into hearts and prevent that from happening, and that the listeners would be moved to DO something, not to just agree. I think part of me was so passionate because with the want to become a parent, the thought of raising a junior high or high schooler in today's society...where sex and everything that goes with it is no longer taboo...where girls dress in a way that devalues themselves to get the want for attention and affection satisfied, and men are driven by lust rather than love to get their own physical and emotional needs satisfied...it terrifies me!!!

When I got home we turned the TV on, and we saw an add on TV for the new "decadent" M&Ms...it's all about the sexy green girl M&M with high heels and eyelashes...it's all in slow motion...she's rubbing her finger through chocolate and then on her lips, she's seductively bouncing up and down on the bed...the music is sensual...and at the end she's in a weird pose and she asks if their done, and the other M&Ms are there with camera equipment and are just awestruck and staring...and a light bulb breaks and they all kinda snap out of it...EVEN CANDY!!! good greif...and it's not only selling the "sexy" image of the candy - but the M&M guys are selling sex! Drew and I think the commercial is kinda humorous, but at the same time we're appauled by the image that it is selling. I realized that the prayer I was praying in church meant NOTHING if I didn't act as well! If I allow myself to become numb to the media, I too will forget that stirring from the Holy Spirit.

SO!!! I just signed on to my Myspace page...and it's GONE!!! I had signed on and there was a puppy video that I watched, and when it was done it wanted me to watch clips of movie stars for bad movies, people getting drunk, and girls in underwear...and I was mad about it...So, no more Myspace!!! I feel liberated!!!

CHP ~ Day 18

Today I woke up late!...this whole late night thing is hard...I can't seem to get to bed at a decent hour...

I asked Steph and Jill what time the services at the Rock House of Prayer are at and what it's like...I decided to go and pray for Drew, so I could be undistracted and focus on the verses I'm putting together and focus on pleading with God for Drew. The whole experience was wonderful! I really enjoyed spending a few hours in such a worship/prayer focused atmosphere. I'd really like to go back. I worked on the verses and finalized them...God really led to many verses in the Psalms, which was very interesting because Drew has felt very intrigued by David and the verses were of him pleading with God and then praising Him for blessing him. So, now I'm typing them out...it's going to take FOREVER!!! I have SO many verses.

Unfortunately, Drew didn't have tonight off, but he sounded chipper on the phone, he was on the way to the classroom, his 'punishment'...he has to sit in there and write a memo...Hopefully he will keep his perkiness despite it...