CHP ~ Day 9

Today was fun! I called my mom and talked to her about everything that is going on with us as far as yesterday goes. She was SO excited for us...she started crying! I think Ed was right - I really needed to pray that God would reveal his will for us to my parents also, so that they can also see how He is working.

We had lunch with my mom and the three of us went shopping a bit. We had fun, watched a movie when we got back and then walked up to Big Spoon and got some frozen yogurt (heh, I'm a bad influence, Sherri'd kill me :) ).

Drew called...ANOTHER HUGE PRAISE!!! 93% on his first POST test, he hasn't ever had scores like that in his life. God is providing and working in our lives in incredible ways! PRAISE GOD!!!

CHP ~ Day 8

WOW!!! God manifested His purpose and control today in amazing ways! Inspiring Drew to know the ONE code he was asked so he could leave this evening for liberty! And he got his first paycheck today...the grand-daddy of blessings! I am shaking...Drew's paycheck covered rent and then some, the remainder and his bonus check we weren't expecting (which they said we should be getting in a couple weeks) should together cover food and gas at least!
Not needing to borrow money = PRICELESS!

Drew had dinner with Leah and I after I picked her up at the airport, and we went shopping!!! Seeing him during the week REALLY helps break up the week. I think it was nice for him to see someone from his family and that he was out doing something, not just me helping him escape for an our. Leah and I had fun visiting---it's nice to see her. Shopping and visiting at home, it's nice having someone here with me.

PRAISE GOD!!!

CHP ~ Day 7

I dropped Jill off this afternoon, after going grocery shopping ($60) and then having to get gas ($40). Ugh, money we don't have right now. So, I really STRESSING now! I came home and crashed after seeing that we have $26 in our account! I slept for a while. My mom's comment is that it is hard to believe that this is where God wants me...which, unfortunately I ask the same question...I don't want to because I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is telling us to hang on.

I talked to Ed and Sherri tonight, they listened to me blab for about an hour and really listened and gave me some positive feed back. Alot of supportive words. It was EXACTLY what I needed calm down and not stress Drew out, as he is beginning to freak a bit too. He was telling me tonight that he is having trouble remembering what he studies, and to pray for that. His homework seems to be very time consuming right now, and he doesn't have alot of time for studying.

CHP ~ Day 6

Last night I dropped Drew off...and I think it was harder than dropping him off the first day. The drive home seemed long, it was dark and night, and I was coming home alone...Last week I hung out with the VanTassell's all day so it didn't feel like I was ALONE. :(

And the weekend, HECTIC. I did Drew's laundry all night Friday night to keep anything from getting too wrinkled. Saturday was alot of organizing, and him giving me paperwork. Sunday was a CRAMMED day of homework!!! All written, so I don't forget ever...he has to handwrite all his "homework", it is the equivalent of a 12 pt sized font, written in the 'stencil' that keeps the letters a uniform size and straight, single spaced, and all caps...if there's a mispelling, mistake, mark, touching letters: you start over...needless to say, it appears it is going to be a 6 hour project to write a "memo". And it was being worked on and put together, right up until we had to leave to get him back to the Academy... :( No rest for the weary?

Today, however, I spent all day with Jill. We painted, watched movies (CHOCOLAT) which is why she then baked a DECADENT chocolate cake from SCRATCH, and talked until the wee hours of the morning. It's amazing to talk to Jill, and know I'm not alone in feeling lonely and confused when following God's leading. And still trying to show others that I am doing to correct thing.

CHP ~ Day 5

Oh my!!! I was cleaning and doing laundry all day trying to make the apartment PERFECT for Drew...and I left to go get him around 4. There's a Starbuck's a block away from the Academy entrance, so I waited there.

I was SO excited to see him...I parked and sat there, got out of the car and sat in front of Starbucks, it was too hot so i sat in the door of my car and turned the vent on, (I could not sit still) so finally I decided to try and calm down and not think about searching around the parking lot for any car that might have Drew's head in it...and this guy cals me to talk about car/renters insurance through the CHP...ugh, and of course the second the guy calls Drew's roommate pulls up to drop Drew off...I wanted to get out and hug him SO bad, and the guy wouldn't get off the phone "Oh, well everyone else here has gone home for the day, and I stayed late until 6 just to talk to him because I know they will get in trouble if I were to call him at the academy before 6pm, and for me to stay late says alot." Well, cocky jerk, I stayed on the phone with him, Drew got in the car, I told the guy that "My husband just got here and I havenn't been able to say hello to him yet"...and he kept asking me questions, trying to quote me trying to explain what he would sign me up for...FINALLY, after about 10 minutes of sitting there, and establishing that NO he was not going to be able to offer me a better rate than AAA I told him "Look, I haven't seen my husband in a week, he's been sitting next to me for 10 minutes and I haven't been able to hug him yet, so I'm going to go"..."Uh, well can I get your email address and information so I can send you a quote"..."NO, we will call you after we discuss and if we are interested"...OYE!!! Finally, I hugged my husband, never felt so good before!!!

He of course is passed out (the second we got back from eating dinner), on the couch...I'm doing all his laundry so that's out of the way, SO nice having him in the house!!!

CHP ~ Day 4

Today I slept WAY past when I wanted to! Not sure how it was so easy to get into the midnight-3am schedule, but it has happened.

I sewed alot today, made some brownies, did some dishes-- but I have alot to do before I go pick up Drew tomorrow! He had a physically rough day today...Almost QUIT...but he sounded incredibly chipper on the phone! :) I guess his PT instructor was yelling at him while he was doing push ups. The one thing he did not condition himself for as much as anything else was pushups! He was yelling in his face and telling him that he should just quit since he can't do the pushups...and he was thinking that well, maybe he should 'cause he doesn't need to take that...but PRAISE THE LORD, he was able to move past those thoughts, even though some guys actually did walk out! He's going to be exhausted tomorrow, he'll get yelled at more and some more PT like today. THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING HIM THE STRENGTH TO ENDURE!!!

CHP ~ Day 3

I'm not sure where today went, I somehow slept forever last night. And I lounged around the house today. I did work on my dress a little (since Ed and Sherri got me that dress form for my birthday!), and I started researching more clothes ideas on Anthropologie's website (I've decided I really like their clothes).

I was able to talk to Drew again tonight, PRAISE GOD! He got all of our insurance and benfefit stuff taken care of today. Tomorrow he starts PT (the physical training) and that's really going to DRAIN him! But my plan is for him to crash when he comes home on Friday and other than laundry and studying he will do NOTHING but relax this weekend! I miss him very much, but I've done really well with staying on top of my daily letters for him so far! :)

CHP ~ Day 2

Today, I went up to Auburn and spent the day with Grandma Mosburg. Grandpa is still recovering from his knee surgery, so I spent the day driving her to Costco and getting some of her grocery shopping out of the way. It was so nice to feel close enough to help her out. They have blessed me so much through love and prayer, it was wonderful to be able to give back to her.

I then was at my parents house for the afternoon, but left because both mommy and I had fallen asleep! When daddy came home for lunch, I had a bit of a downer though. I can put it into perspective...I know him and Matt had a rough day on the job, and that he's tired and working hard. I also was at their house eating their food! However, "How's the fabulous life of the rich and famous? Well, you aren't working, so you much be rich and famous" was not quite what I had in mind when I told my parents about our situation, where we felt God was leading us, and that though they may not agree we could use their prayers and support. I'm not greatly bothered by it, and really not terribly surprised, I'm just realizing that where God wants me is not always obvious to anyone aside from myself.

Drew was able to call again tonight! He sounds great, so I'm ecstatic! It seems that he had yelling and lots of paperwork yesterday, and today was mostly information and introduction to his classes. I called Ed and Sherri to update them...they were happy and so proud and excited for Drew! I'm excited to see how this experience changes Drew and his self worth. I talked to Ed about what my dad said, and he had a good point..."If I could count all the stupid things I've said as a dad..." well, ok that's true. And they both encouraged me to pray for family and friends, that God would show everyone that this IS the place He wants us so that we can receive that positive reinforcement. I'm ashamed to say, I didn't think about it from that perspective! So, now I am not only praying for my parents in general, but now adding the request of a revelation to them and to Ed and Sherri and to all our family so that they will be the encouraging support group I need, as I become the support group that Drew needs.

First Day, Of the Rest of Our Lives!

Today I had to drop Drew off by 7:30am! Not much time to have a very meaningful goodbye!
We got to the Academy at about 7ish, and we started pulling his bag out, and my heart sank. A sudden urge to tell him not to leave me. But I know that through this whole thing I have to be, almost caloused, and not show my feelings in a way that would make him feel like he is needed at home!

I was so nervous driving home. The only way I can explain it, or the only thing I can seem to relate it to, would be like a mom dropping her kid off at camp and not knowing when you'll hear from them, knowing you can't do ANYTHING, and they are on their own. Well, of course I'm aware that he is my husband not my child, and he is a man, but there is still that attachment and that feeling that we are both dependant on one another. Now he's in the hands of people that are certainly not going to be kind, because that's their job. And I cannot be his encouragement, because I haven't a clue if I'll hear from him today or not, and if I do it won't be until the evenings.

So, driving back to Roseville, I was praying!!! I was praying so hard that God would give Drew strength and peace and courage and wisdom. And I just completely emotionally wore myself out, I passed out on my bed when I got home! Praise the Lord for my cousins! I met up with Steph and Jill for lunch and we roamed the mall and a few other stores, and that kept me chipper enough, I was still thinking about him often enough to be praying for him constantly, but I was distracted just enough to not be depressed.

I got to hang out with them for the rest of the evening at their house and remain distracted, which was a blessing. I am so appreciative that we are living up here during this and I have family so close.

By God's grace, Drew was able to call me tonight!!! He called me very late, but we were able to talk for a few minutes. He sounded wonderful! He said he had psych'd himself out so much that the first day was bad, but not as bad as he thought it was going to be! PRAISE GOD! He sounded tired but perky, and therefore, my heart is completely at peace and at ease now. Thank you LORD for this blessing!

CHP Orientation

VERY STRANGE!!! Today we had the official orientation, and Drew reports tomorrow morning. We sat through many discussions and QA's in the gym at the Academy this afternoon. I watched a group of Cadets march by and shout "Good Afternoon Ladies, Good Afternoon Gentlemen" as they walked by. Each one of them to each person they walked by! I feel excited and nervous and very out of place. We've joined this "brotherhood" type thing, and it's very foreign to me.

I was telling Drew, the only thing I have participated in was buying his boots (which was strange enough to be in a store with all law-enforcement) and the last orientation which only had about 40 people there in a small classroom. Aside from those two things, Drew could have been off doing who knows what for the past few months instead of interview and ridealongs and I would not know the difference. I feel as though all the anticipation which has surrounded this for the last YEAR, just suddenly hit me like a brick wall and here I am!!! We watched videos today of the work out regimine and various road course exercises that the Cadets get trained on, so that was interesting. But we are both on information overload!!!

Endless amounts of paper concerning benefits, what to bring, what to be prepared for, info for support groups and families, info on pay, info on support for Cadets and Officers, etc... VERY overwhelming. We went on a tour of the campus. Saw the ground, the drill pad, the 'quads' where the Cadets live, we saw the fountain in the "Quad" (Honoring fallen Officers), and the exercise areas.

I'm excited and nervous. I didn't think I would be, but I am finally starting to feel that way. Luckily, Drew is not more nervous now...he's LESS nervous, and so excited! I'm so excited to see what this does for him. A sense of pride and accomplishment, and the respect from havingsuch a career! As scared as I am, I am ecstatic to see what the next couple years are going to look like. Especially since we DID NOT anticipate this, I did not marry a Cop! :)

Loss of Job, Anticipating Academy

Well, today has been very difficult! I'm really on overload and don't know what to do. And yet I have this amazing calm and peace about it all.

Today there was so much going on, grandpa was going in for knee surgery, we got back two days ago from southern Cal, we didn't borrow money to get through the next month (as we had intended on doing), and we had a CHP Cadet orientation to go to in Sacramento tonight. Well, to add to it, I lost my job today! OYE! Ok, I really stressed for about 2 hours... What are we going to do? How are we going to survive? How are we going to make it through the first month of the Academy and not get paid!!!??? But, alot of that we had to ignore. We had the Cadet meeting tonight, and we really needed to be focused and remember all of our questions and be able to pay attention to the information given to us.

Well, praise God for such a distraction. Not only did it take our minds off of our seemingly impending doom, but it also gave us the answer to all those WHY? questions!

A Cadet's wife got up and spoke to us tonight. She was describing how the weekend ritual of "liberty" goes in her house. How incredibly busy and exhausted and stressed her husband is. And listening to her I received a very different perspective on the coming months that I hadn't seen before. As he pushes through the next few months, (that sound like they are going to be horrendous!) he needs me to be supportive, to focus solely on him, and to take care of everything so he doesn't have to. God really pulled me together, quite suddenly, and I realized I lost my job for a reason. I am not supposed to be working during this whole phase, that's not what He has in store for us. I need to be able to listen and support Drew without any issues from throughout my day getting in the way of that!
I have been very burnt out on my job and the people there for quite a few months now. It was a wonderful blessing at the time I received it, but it has served that purpose and it is now time for me to move on for what God now has for me. Drew and I discussed this alot this evening, and we both feel like this is what needs to happen.

We feel led by God, at peace in His will, and that we agree. However, we are concerned about the pressure we are going to receive, and how on earth we are going to financially stay afloat through to Drew's first full paycheck -- September!